


Tel' Aran Feliken

by Amin_mela_lle



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Prostitution, Unplanned Pregnancy, light sex description
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:53:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3015221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amin_mela_lle/pseuds/Amin_mela_lle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an elf is given in marriage, he is given for this life and the life beyond. Their marriage does not end with death. When our queen was taken away from our lord, Thranduil, he was still as much married to her then as when he first spoken his vows. When my lord extended his hand towards me and invited me to join him in the palace, he was breaking every promise he had made to his wife. Yet after darkness had fallen and he called upon my companionship, it was not his wife's name that escaped his lips. It was mine. It was Aylariel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arwenamin

**Author's Note:**

> I have elvish translations at the end for you guys. Let me know what you think or what you'd like to see! I love feedback of any kind :)

When an elf is given in marriage, he is given for this life and the life beyond. Their marriage does not end with death. When our queen was taken away from our lord, Thranduil, he was still as much married to her then as when he first spoken his vows. When the news was brought back to our country of the queen's death, I cannot imagine the pain Thranduil must have felt. The queen has been everything to him, yet he hid his pain behind his glassy, blue eyes. He carried on with life as usual and ran his kingdom how his wife would have wanted him to while he raised their young son, Legolas. And he moved on. When my lord extended his hand towards me and invited me to join him in the palace, he was breaking every promise he had made to his wife. Every night I spent in his chambers was another night I stayed with a man who had promised his heart to another. I knew Thranduil still loved his wife, yet after darkness had fallen and he called upon my companionship, it was not his wife's name that escaped his lips. It was mine. It was Aylariel. 

 

The golden sun was slowly sinking below the mountains and shadows were just starting to creep up the outer walls. The stone beneath my hands was warm, but with the sun disappearing, it would soon be left cold. A slight breeze fluttered through the leaves, blowing at my face for just a moment before it ran down and through the garden then chased the sun over the mountain. All was silent until I heard a few guards downstairs speaking hurriedly, then the doors behind me were pushed open and he entered. "It's not often that you leave me alone before I wake and do not return again til it is almost time for me to sleep again, my lord." Thranduil's steps came towards me as the doors were again pushed shut, giving us the privacy we claimed to have, but never truly did. 

"There was need of me. Strange webs were found in the forest and we had to investigate them." He sounded dismissive.

"And what would spiders be doing anywhere near Mirkwood?" I turned around to face my king and he continued to slowly advance towards me.

"I will not trouble you with the affairs of the realm."

"If that is what my lord deems best." I spoke softly now and Thranduil stepped forward, his eyes looked piercingly down into mine. I lowered my gaze respectfully, but he raised his fingers to under my chin and tilted my face up to his. He leaned towards me and I closed my eyes, expecting his lips to meet mine, but instead his lips were placed against my neck. His lips moved slightly lower before meeting my skin again as his fingers ran down the opposite side of my throat then down the lace that decorated my gown. 

" _Vanimle sila tiri._ " The words left his mouth as he pulled away from me and I opened my eyes.

"You are kind, my lord."

"Come, I am tired." His eyes glanced behind me at the sun, now barely showing above the horizon, before reaching down and taking my hand in his. "Let us go to bed."

 

" _Tula sinome! Tula sinome, khila amin! Asca! Asca!_ " I awoke to the sounds of shouts from the lower halls. There were sounds of running feet and I pushed myself into a sitting position as the great doors at the end of the room were pushed open and the king's son, Legolas, stepped into the room. I clutched the king's sheets against my chest, still blinking in the light as Legolas looked at me. He looked confused, then dismissive, before asking loudly,

"Where is my father?"

"There is no need to shout, Legolas, I'm right here." My eyes darted across the room to where Thranduil was pouring himself a drink from a pitcher on his table. He was fully dressed, even down to the rings that decorated his long fingers. 

"We have a visitor." As he spoke, Legolas's eyes moved from his father over to me again. Thranduil was quick to bring his son's attention back to himself. 

"I'm sure the visitor can wait." Thranduil spoke calmly. 

"We have need of you, my lord...immediately." There was a hint of desperation in Legolas's voice and Thranduil examined him thoroughly before replying.

"Then let us go." Thranduil placed his goblet back on the table he had taken it from and followed his son from the room, not even giving me a glance before the doors closed behind him. I hesitated a moment before climbing out of bed and pulling on my silk robe. I then ran out to the king's balcony to see dozens of guards running around beneath me. Many ran towards the front gates of our kingdom and still many others ran in the direction of the king's throne room. My eyes caught sight of a smaller group of guards marching around Thranduil and his son. Legolas seemed to be trying to hurry his father along, but Thranduil's long strides continued to take their time. I watched until he was out of sight, then I slowly walked back inside to find the king's servants ready to help me dress for the day. I gave myself over to their care, silently wondering what was occurring in the forest below. 

 

The early afternoon hours brought an unexpected guest to the king's quarters. The doors opened and Tauriel, captain of the king's guard walked in, finding me in the midst of braiding my hair. "Tauriel!" I sprang lightly to my feet and met my childhood friend in the middle of the room, my hands clasping hers. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see how you were." Tauriel led me to one of the great silk-covered couches in the room and we sank onto it together. "The king is entertaining a few guests from Rivendell and I took the opportunity to come see you."

"It is wonderful to see you,  _mellonamin_." 

"Likewise." Her eyes were lit up with excitement, as were mine. 

"Tell me, what is going on in the realm? Why did my lord, Legolas, burst in this morning?"

"Were you here?" Tauriel questioned. 

"I was still entangled in his majesty's sheets!" I laughed heartily at the memory, but Tauriel's smile had faded. "Oh come, it is funny!"

"My lord, Legolas, did not seem himself today and maybe this is why."

"I know we have never properly met, but he cannot have doubted my existence." Tauriel had now turned away and I heard her sigh. "What is it, Tauriel?"

"You know how highly I think of you, Aylariel...I just worry..."

"Oh." My hands fell limp in hers. "This is going to be another speech about...chastity and morals..."

"Aylariel..."

"No, I don't want to hear it!" I pulled away as I stood, turning my back on my dear friend. 

"My lady," Tauriel stood and I felt her hand on my shoulder. She referred to me with respect, no doubt coming from my position to the king. "I would never want to bring you sorrow." Her words were soft and I turned back towards her as she embraced me gently. "Come, let us sit and talk as friends. Let us enjoy the short time we have together." I let her take my hand again as we sat again on the sofa. 

"I did not mean to shout, Tauriel..."

"We will talk of something else." Tauriel smiled gaily. "You asked what was going on in the realm?"

"There were so many guards this morning. I saw them from my balcony." The smile reappeared on my face and I listened intently as Tauriel told me about the visit from the wizard Radagast they had that morning. The forest seemed to be falling under an evil spell and many of the animals were falling sick and dying. "And what will the king do?"

"The king has not given us orders yet...he is simply listening to what is going on. I fear he will do nothing simply because this spell does not harm our people."

"He cannot just do nothing, Tauriel. He is a good king, he will think of something." The doubt in Tauriel's eyes cast a shadow over my confidence. 

"Do not let your position with the king cloud your sight, Aylariel. The king will protect his people. Do not expect him to do any more than that."

 

It was late again by the time Thranduil returned to his apartments. I was laying reclined on a sofa, occupying myself with a book, when he entered the room. "The hour is late, my lord."

"Do not speak to me of the time, Aylariel." His voice was drenched with disgust as he pulled off his outer cloak, waving his hand at the servant by the door, signalling them to leave. The cloak fell soflty to the floor and he stepped towards me. 

"What shall I speak to my lord of?" After the words had left my mouth, he had reached where I lay and was towering over me, leaning down just slightly. One of his hands reached out and pushed my book lower and I responded by letting it drop to the floor beneath us. Though I very much wanted to question him about the sickness in the forest, I remained silent as Thranduil's eyes studied me. His blue eyes pierced into my brown ones and I wanted to look away, but forced myself to hold his hardened gaze. 

"I do not believe you are here to speak." Thranduil's words were slow and his face moved closer to mine as they left his lips. His response to my earlier question surprised be, but as his lips moved to meet my neck, I raised my body to meet his. He sank onto the couch next to me and I moved my hands to his strong arms as his hands moved to my waist, pulling me against him. His head pulled back and I met his eyes again for a moment before he leaned in and his lips met mine. I kissed him back, slowly at first, but he was moving quickly. He began to push my robe off of my shoulders and I slid my arms out of the sleeves as we moved to a sitting position. His lips continued to move over mine as his arms wove around my slim form, pulling me still closer. His movements were rushed, but not rough. For the first time, I wished that he would tell me about what his affairs had been that day. What made him feel like this? But he was breaking away now, and he stood. I remained sitting, but only for a moment as he looked at me, his gaze softer now. Then he extended his hand to me, just like he had those many months since when he had first invited me to this place. I placed my smaller hand in his as I rose to my feet, then he led me to his room and to his bed. We lay simply caressing in the sheets as the moon's light fell upon us. We were tangled in each other, Thrandil's arms holding me tightly against his warm skin. His kisses were slow, yet did not lack intensity or passion. He slowly moved me onto my back, his body over mine, and I ran my fingers lightly up his back, feeling every outline in his skin. He kissed my lips gently, then moved his lips to my cheek, then my jaw, then my neck. He moved down my body as his hands firmly held onto my hips, keeping me exactly where he wanted me. After his lips had caressed my stomach, he moved them back up to mine just as his name escaped my lips. My mouth dropped open as he returned his lips to my neck and I gasped for air with every movement. " _Lle naa vanima, Arwenamin. Lle naa vanima._ " The king's words were whispered softly into my ear as my eyes ran over the ceiling. " _Arwenamin._ " The word lingered in the air as his lips continued to caress me. He did not stop as the moon shined brighter, rising higher into the sky. He held me tightly, whispering elvish love words into my ear or gently caressing my skin. It was late into the night when he fell back on the bed beside me, finally ready to sleep. I gasped for air one last time before my eyes slowly closed, exhausted and ready to sleep...

 

...but seemingly only for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, it was still night, though the moon had begun it's descent. A movement in the room caught my eye and I saw Thranduil moving towards the window, his footsteps making no sound. He was clothed only in a thin, silver robe which fell off of one shoulder, revealing his milky-white and pure skin. His eyes studied the darkness out of the window before feeling my eyes on him. He glanced towards me before returning his gaze out into the night. "Do you love me, Aylariel?" The question was so unexpected, so sudden. Yet a question from the king was as good as an order, so I was required to answer, one way or another. His eyes turned on me again and I stared back at him before my lips formed an answer.

"Yes." A single syllable. It was short and carried all the meaning I could give it. 

"Good." He looked away again. "Now go back to sleep. You need not stay awake for I will not return to bed this night."

 

I woke up alone the next morning, just after the sun had risen over the horizon. I reached out and ran my fingertips over the bed next to me. Thranduil always awoke before me and would be entirely dressed by the time I saw him next. We often ate breakfast together, but I knew that this morning we would not. A new kind of feeling had settled over me, and it wasn't a good one. Last night he had asked me a question and I hoped that the answer had changed nothing. The moment I emerged from the king's room, I was greeted by his servants. Waving them away, I went down to the king's private pool to bathe. The water was warm and I lingered there, letting it soak into my skin. The way Thranduil had made love to me last night had been different. He had been gentle and tender, yet somehow different. I never was foolish enough to believe the king of the woodland real would ever return my love, but I did expect his attention. Before the king had invited me, I had lived alone in the forest below, my parents having died many years before. I would never wish to return to that life of loneliness - not after having experienced the life the king had given me. A dark shadow still lingered over this morning, and I hoped that with Thranduil's return to my chambers tonight, it would be gone.

 

It was about mid-day, just after I had finished my meal and had reclined again on the sofa to finish my book, when there was the sound of marching and the great doors that led into the king's chambers were opened. Tauriel and two of her elven guards walked into the room and I sat up to greet them, a look of confusion on my face. "Good afternoon, my lady." Tauriel's words were polite, but her voice sounded sad. "The king orders you to come with us."

"With you?" I stood up slowly, still confused. The king had always ordered me to stay in his quarters, never to be brought to him anywhere else. 

"Please, my lady, we must go." As Tauriel spoke, the guards with her stepped towards me, causing me to draw back fearfully. 

"What's going on?"

"My lady, the king has ordered it." The two guards were at my sides now and as they reached for me, I darted forward towards Tauriel. 

"Don't touch me," I said as my voice wavered. "I will walk with you."

 

I had seen the woodland realm from the king's balcony many times, but it had been many months since my feet had touched the ground and I had walked through the trees myself. I wished I had more time to bask in the beauty of my home, but Tauriel was walking swiftly and I had to hurry to keep up with her. She was leading me down a path I had seen people go down many times, but few returned from, and it did not take me long to figure out her mission. "Why, Tauriel?" Tauriel slowed to a stop and paused before looking back at me, the pity showing in her dark eyes. 

"The king does not give me reasons, my lady, only orders."

"Not even a parting word, nothing?"

"We must hurry." She turned again and the guards behind me pushed me forward. Down the winding steps we went, deeper into the forest and to where the prisons lay. I was brought to a cell that was very near the bottom and Tauriel hesitated a moment, the key in her hand, then I saw her swallow and unlock the door before pulling it open. The guards' rough hands pushed me inside and I heard the door slammed behind me and locked. 

"Can you give his majesty a message?" I said as I whirled around. " _Kwentra heru en amin, ro wethrine amin. Nadorhuan. Quel kaima, utinu en lokirim!_ " I spit each word out through my teeth as I wished with all my heart that Thranduil had been there to hear them, but he was far away sitting on his throne, leaving his captain to carry out his orders. Tauriel drew back from the door as her eyes examined me for the last time.

"I'm sorry, my lady." And she was gone, calling to her soldiers to follow her back up. I slumped back against the wall and it took me a few moments to realize exactly what had happened. He had asked me last night if I loved him. I said yes. He left me. He had me thrown into a prison cell. He locked the door. My brain struggled to comprehend the events of the past few days, but as the realization started to settle over me, I found myself sitting on the floor, my body convulsing with sobs. My declaration of love last night should not have brought this idea into my lord's head. I was at a loss for his reasoning. So there I sat. Among the traitors of the realm and the outsiders that Thranduil was afraid of. I sat alone.


	2. Mankoi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish translations at the end! Thank you to those of you who have already left such kind comments! <3

I only had to wait a matter of days before I found out the news of why Thranduil had brought me here. The guard who brought me my food told me a rumor and I asked him to ask Tauriel if she would come to confirm it. She was kind enough to come. "Are they treating you well in here? Is the food alright?" The questions were unnecessary, but kindly meant. 

"They let me have my clothes and I think I'm getting better food than everyone else." I tried to pull a smile across my face, but a silent sob shook my body instead.

"What can I do for you, my lady?"

"You mustn't call me that." I reached up to brush the unwanted tears from my cheeks. "I am not your lady, nor anyone above you, Tauriel."

"You were someone the king valued, so I also value you above others."

"And that's why he left me down here, right?" I let out a sad laugh and Tauriel turned away. "I was told the king is taking a new queen." Tauriel looked back at me with a look of surprise and as she opened her mouth to reply, I asked her my question. "Is it true? Is that why I'm down here?" She exhaled slowly and as I looked in her eyes, I saw the sadness they held for me. She knew what her king had done and I pitied her as she pitied me, for she had to go on serving him while I got to sit in a cell far away from him. 

"She's someone he took a fancy to and had brought in right after you were brought here." She gave me a small smile and I knew it was her effort to make this as painless as possible. "She's a merchant's daughter, or something of that sort."

"And he will make her queen?" My eyes met Tauriel's again and she nodded slowly. 

"He will."

"What is she like?" I clutched at my fingers in my lap, willing myself not to cry anymore, but to listen to hear what it was that the king wanted. 

"She's young." The comment made me smile. The girl would have no clue of my existence, or that her king was capable of what he had done to me. I knew she must be beautiful, for all elves were beautiful, but the king would not settle for anything less than perfection. "The king is to let her stay with him for a few days before the announcement that she would be his queen. None of us know much about her."

"I hope she will be a good queen." I spoke slowly and Tauriel looked at me questioningly. "I do not wish ill on a girl who only wants to make her king happy." I was that girl once.

"Is there anything I can get for you? Or..or do for you?"

"You are kind, Tauriel....I only-" My voice was cut off by Tauriel's name being called from above us.

"Tauriel!"

"My lord, Legolas." Tauriel immediately straightened and stepped away from my door. 

"I have been searching for you." The king's son came into my view, standing on the stairs across from us. His eyes met mine for a moment, before looking back at the captain. "We have found more webs."

"I will come with you." And Tauriel hurried towards Legolas, who once again turned his eyes on me. A strange look was in his eyes, but he turned away as Tauriel joined him and they both disappeared from my view, leaving me once more - alone.

 

My fingers ran through my light hair before running the brush through the strands. I had been given a mirror along with my clothes and as I sat before it, I stared into my own dark eyes. The girl before me looked the same as the day she had left the king, only trails of tears were still visible on her cheeks. I inhaled boldly and set my jaw. The softness of my eyes were gone, but none of my beauty had left me. Instead of the sweet girl who walked in the gardens of Mirkwood, I was now a girl made stronger by the king's own blade. The innocence and sweetness was gone and had left me a strong elf of the woodland realm. In that, I could find my happiness. The king had broken me, but not destroyed me. "' _Quel amrun! Malia ten' yulna?_ " A high and sweet voice spoke behind me and I turned to see a beautiful elven woman standing outside of my door. "But, you are..." Her voice immediately changed to one of confusion as she looked me over. "What is so fair a lady doing in a cell down here?" I smiled gently. Her innocent eyes were brought back up to mine and I saw that hers were bright blue. Her hair was very fair and she looked a bit younger than myself, though not by much. In her hands she held a silver tray, obviously from the king's own store and as my eyes went to her small, white hands, I noticed a familiar ring adorning one of her fingers. It was made of strands of silver with a large white stone in the center. It was Thranduil's. I stood up slowly and performed a low curtsy. 

" _Arwen en amin_."  

"Who are you?" Her voice shook ever so slightly and her fingers gripped the tray tightly. 

"My name is Aylariel. What brings the queen of the woodland realm down to see me?" I kept my voice calm and the young girl before me steadied a bit. 

"I wanted to visit the prisoners."

"The king let his queen come here?"

"I have some guards with me," she motioned uselessly to the men standing a few feet behind her. "And  _heruamin_  does not know I am come." Her eyes fell for a moment, before she took a deep breath and looked at me again. "For what crime are you brought here?"

"I could not do what was required of me." I sat back down on the worn stool in my cell. 

"What was required of you?" Her eyes were so curious and as I looked at her, my mind faltered to come up with an answer. I could tell her the truth and bring more wrath on myself from my king, or I could lie and possibly doom this young one to my same fate. But why was she here? A new queen did not just walk through the dungeons because she desired to. 

"I was...to make someone happy...and I could not."

"But who was powerful enough to send you down here if you could not make him ha-" Here she stopped and stared at me. She could not possibly know who I was, but she may be beginning to realize. "Who are you really?"

"I am one whom the king no longer has use for,  _poikaer_." The look of confusion in her soft eyes turned to disbelief. "And see how easily I was replaced."

"No, you lie!" She stepped back and I sprang to my feet, grasping the iron bars on my door.  

"Do not make the mistake of thinking that our lord, the king loves you. The night before you joined the king in his chambers, I was the one decorating his bed."

"No!"

" _Tel' aran feliken_. The king's whore. We are all the same,  _arwen en amin_." I backed away from the door and saw how frightened the young queen had become. Her chest was heaving hard and she had dropped the tray she carried. 

"Guards," her eyes turned on the warriors waiting next to her. " _Khila amin._ " And her light feet ran back up the stairwell she had come down earlier and in a few moments, she was gone. I exhaled slowly, then as turned my eyes from after her, I caught a glimpse of another familiar form on another stairwell farther across from my cell. Legolas looked at me for a moment before turning and retreating up the stairs. 

 

"On your feet!" I was rudely awakened by the loud voice, then a sound of clattering as the heavy cell door was opened. "I said, get up!" Rough hands grabbed me and I found myself pulled to my feet by a member of the guard.

"Let go of her!" Tauriel's voice came from the door and in my sleepy state, I saw her walk in and gently take my arm. 

"What's going on?" I asked as I steadied myself on my feet. 

"The king has called for you, my lady. You must make yourself ready." Tauriel's words awakened me and I quickly moved into action, grabbing my brush and fumbling with my braids. As the guards left my cell, Tauriel stayed with me, quickly un-braiding my messy hair and starting to do it over again for me. 

"What does he want, Tauriel? What is he going to do to me?"

"I do not know, Aylariel." Tauriel used my name for the first time since I had been placed in this foul cell. "But he has summoned you and you must go."

"I don't want to see him." The words came out in almost a whisper. "I don't ever want to see him."

"We cannot make our own choices about such things." Tauriel's words hushed me as her quick fingers finished my braids. She then helped me stand to slip out of my night gown. 

"What do I even wear?"

"The best dress you have." She looked through the gowns that hung on piece of wood suspended from the stone ceiling and picked out a golden one with white jewels running around the neckline then down one side of the dress like stars in a golden heaven.

"No, Tauriel, he gave me that dress." I stopped her as she stepped towards me.

"What dress do you have that was not given to you by the king, Aylariel?"

"The plain ones..."

"Well you cannot wear a plain one in front of the king." She knelt and helped me step into the elaborate gown. As I stood and turned to look at myself in my mirror, I saw a girl who was adorned like a queen. One whose surroundings did not fit her appearance. I looked down at my hands and saw them start to shake. I was trembling terribly and I sank back onto my bed, clasping my hands to my chest. 

"I cannot do this." The words came out under my breath, but Tauriel's sharp ears caught them and she knelt down before me, taking my cold hands in her warm ones. 

"Aylariel..." Her voice was tender as she looked up into my eyes. 

"You always told me that I was making a poor choice...staying with the king." 

"None of your poor choices should have led you here,  _mellonamin_." She tried to smile, but I saw the pain she was feeling. "Now come, we must show the king how beautiful you look. We must make him sorry for everything he has done to you." She reached up to brush a few strands of hair back into place.

"You know as well as I that he cannot be made sorry for anything," I said gently as I stood with my friend. Tauriel moved my arm through hers. 

"Let us see what the king says about you." She turned us so we could see the mirror. "For you are stunning,  _arwen en amin_."

 

The walk to the throne room wasn't a long one, so I would have to quickly compose myself, but we took a different turn down a smaller path. I looked questioningly at Tauriel, but she kept her eyes ahead, marching steadily in front. We took the stairs at the base of one of the large trees that wound its way up to a platform which had a beautiful overlook, peaking out of the dense forest. When we reached a platform just lower than the overlook, most of the guards stopped. Tauriel continued on alone before me and we had only a few steps til we reached the top. There Tauriel moved aside and I stepped into the warm sunlight. I knew there was beautiful scenery surrounding where I now stood, and if I stepped close enough to the edge I would see a great river rushing beneath me, but my eyes were focused on the figure standing across the platform, his gaze directed towards the mountains beyond the forest, his hands folded gently behind his back. There stood the king of the woodland realm. He was dressed in a silver robe, which fell to his ankles, revealing his gray boots and allowing him to walk more freely. His fingers were decorated with his many silver rings, though one was missing. The one that now adorned the finger of his queen.  His silver-blonde hair lay softly down his back and upon his head he wore the crown of Mirkwood. He was a striking picture, but I could no longer be captivated by his beauty. I wanted to lash out at him, say the words my brain was screaming at him, but I remained still and waited for him to speak. And he did. 

"I hear you have met my queen." His voice rang out powerfully and only fueled the fire burning in my chest. He slowly turned and his steely blue eyes found mine. "What do you think of her?" He was taunting me, but I would not fall into his trap. He took a step towards me as a small smile appeared on his lips. "Will you not speak to me?"

"Not of your queen,  _heru en amin_."

" _Mankoi_?" He took another step towards me, but I kept my mouth closed as my eyes stayed trained on him. When he saw I would not speak, he straightened, any softness in his eyes disappearing. "I have tried to keep you comfortable, Aylariel, but it is obvious you cannot stay in my dungeons." He returned to his position, facing the mountains.

"Where will you have me go?"

"Legolas has offered to escort you to Lothlorien." Thranduil spoke quickly.

"Legolas?" Confusion riddled my pronunciation of the princes name.

"He has also asked that you be allowed to stay in his quarters tonight."

"His quarters?"

"That is all."

"That's all?!" My sudden exclamation caused him to spin around, the anger already showing in his eyes. "You send me to Lothlorien and that's all?"

"Do not try my-"

"No matter where you send me, it cannot erase what you have done!" 

"You will not speak to me in this way!" Thranduil's tall form lunged forward and he towered over me. "You do not get a say in what is done. You will go to Lothlorien and you will be happy I did not turn you into the forest with no place to lay your head." Then he retreated a few steps back, his eyes glaring at me still. "Now go! I will waste no more time on you." He waved his hand and immediately two guards appeared and grabbed my arms. 

" _Amin feuya ten' lle_." I called after him as he turned and walked back towards the edge of the platform. " _Rhachon lle! Rhachon lle, Thranduil!_ " The guards were now pulling me back and once I had started yelling, I couldn't stop. I used every word in elvish or the tongue of men that I knew to curse him. And he just stood there. I was now committing treason on every level by first interrupting my king, yelling at him, using his name with no words of respect, and now cursing him. Thranduil had every right to have me killed right then and there. But he just stood there. He stood there as I was taken from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quel amrun! Malia ten' yulna: Good morning! Care for a drink?  
> Arwen en amin: My lady  
> Heruamin: My lord (familliar)  
> Poikaer: Pure One  
> Tel' aran feliken: The king's whore  
> Khila amin: Follow me  
> Mellonamin: My friend  
> Heru en amin: My lord (non familiar)  
> Mankoi?: Why?  
> Amin feuya ten' lle: You disgust me  
> Rhachon lle! Rhachon lle, Thranduil!: I curse you! I curse you, Thranduil!


	3. Legolas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!! I am sorry this chapter did not make it up last night, I was feeling very sick :(. But I am better now so here it is!  
> Thank you for your comments so far! I already have some faithful readers and I am so grateful <3

_"Gold," Thranduil informed the servant beside him. His fingers ran over the fabric as he raised his eyes to mine. "I think it suits you." I blushed deeply as I lowered my eyes. "And add the white gems. She should look ravishing." I slowly raised my eyes to his again and a hint of a smile had come across his lips. "Is there anything else you desire?" He had put the question to me and I shook my head quickly._

_"I have everything I could ever desire, my lord."_

_"Good." He hastily drew back from the table of fabric and crossed to where I stood. "Now I must see to some important matters." He looked down into my face and I smiled, supremely happy in this moment. Thranduil bent down and his lips touched mine for a brief moment before pulling away. "Until tonight, arwenamin."_

 

I awoke with a start from my memory. Sitting up quickly, I found myself on a large couch in a strange room. My eyes examined my surroundings as I slowly lowered my feet to the floor. The memories of before I fell asleep were muddled. I remembered being pulled from Thranduil's presence...then I was brought to a set of rooms just beneath the king's. I must have collapsed just after being brought in. Legolas's rooms. That's where I must have been brought. The room I found myself in was cozy, not particularly large, but big enough for its single occupant. A fire was blazing in the fireplace close by the couch and a table was set out before me, though the food had not been brought yet. I was alone, the only sound being the crackling of the fire. I slowly stood, looking around again before I began making a circuit around the room. A few wooden furnishings were scattered about the room and there was nothing on the walls or ceiling to hide the fact that it was a room cut into a great tree trunk. I pushed aside a dark red curtain which hung at one end of the room and found a size-able bed covered in deep red fabric. Legolas did not bother placing small trinkets in his room and the only items I found were a few books and four of his bows hung on the wall with silver arrows hanging close by them. His room had such sharp contrasts to his father's room just above us. Thranduil enjoyed having many windows to let the light in and nearly everything was encased in silver. Legolas's rooms featured darker colors, such as red and brown, the only exception being the deep green rug beneath my feet. I had never come into much contact with the prince, but the emptiness of his rooms, in contrast to his father's, surprised me. I had completed my walk around the room and had returned to the couch I had awoken on when the door opened and two servants came in with my dinner. I had not been fed badly in my prison cell, but this food was similar to the foods I had eaten while serving Thranduil. I gratefully ate of the delicious food until I could eat no more. After dinner, I relaxed on the couch with one of Legolas's books, expecting to stay awake til the young prince returned. I wished very much to ask him why he had me brought here, or why he had volunteered his services to bring me to Lothlorien. I also wished to question him on the appearance of the queen at my cell, but the hours began to tick away and there remained no sign of him. My eyes grew heavier and heavier and finally I could no longer stay awake, telling myself I would have time to ask him all my questions the following day.

 

"You must take me with you."

"He will not allow it."

"Do not force me to stay here, Legolas." I was awoken by the sounds of voices and as I opened my eyes, I saw Legolas standing across the room, shoving a few articles of clothing into a leather saddle bag as Tauriel stood by him. 

"Your place is here." A few of his long strides took Legolas out of my view and Tauriel remained where she was, her eyes looking pleadingly after him. 

"Promise me...you will be careful." Legolas again came into view and shoved a rolled up blanket into his bag. "You know there are spiders out there...and..." Tauriel stuttered for words, and I saw Legolas pause before looking up at her. He smiled gently as he reached out his hand and took both of Tauriel's in his. 

"I will." The words came out softly and they remained still for a moment before he moved his attention back to his bag and started on the buckles. "Now you must return to your post before the king notices you are gone." At his words Tauriel took a step back then turned before disappearing out of the room. Legolas and Tauriel had known each other for a very long time, and I knew how fond they were of each other. The prince busied himself with the rest of his packing and I moved to a sitting position, brushing off the blanket that someone must have laid over me the night before. 

"When are we leaving?" I asked as my eyes followed Legolas from one side of the room to the other. 

"As soon as you have eaten. Your belongings have been packed." He did not look at me as he spoke and my attention was drawn to the tray that was set on the table before me. "A servant will return for you." Legolas brought his saddlebags up to his shoulder before disappearing out the door. As I began to eat, I still struggled to understand the meaning of his actions. The ride to Lothlorien would be a long one and I hoped the time to speak to him would present itself soon.

 

The servant came, as promised, and after helping me change out of my golden gown from the day before, I was helped into a comfortable light gray dress with a darker cloak. I was then led down to the forest floor where Legolas was climbing onto a pure-white horse. Another horse of the same color stood at his side and both were loaded down with provisions for our journey. Tauriel was speaking to a member of her guard, but turned to me as I walked towards the horses. "Be safe." A small smile pulled across her lips before she pulled me into a tender embrace. 

"I will see you again, Tauriel," I said as we pulled away from each other's arms. 

"Whether here or on the golden beaches to the west." She tried to smile again and I saw a tear run down her cheek. I reached up and brushed it away before pressing a kiss to where it had been. 

"I will miss you." My vision blurred as I spoke, but I blinked back the tears threatening to roll from my eyes and smiled instead.

"Now you must go." Tauriel stepped back as she regained her composure. I nodded before reaching up for the horses reigns and letting myself be lifted into the saddle by the servant at my side. Legolas, upon seeing I was situated on my horse, urged his forward. I took a deep breath before doing the same. We didn't have a long way to the front gate, but my eyes looked frantically around, trying to drink in the view of my home. I imagined it would be the last time I saw these tall trees with their graceful stairways and platforms. As the gates before us opened, I glanced back one last time at the shining trees. Here was the woodland realm in all its radiance and glory. But now we were crossing over the bridge and the gates behind us began to close, so I faced forward. 

"How long is the ride?" I called to Legolas, who was just in front of me. 

"Eight days, if the weather holds." He broke his horse into a trot and I followed, riding away from my home and into the darker forest of Mirkwood. 

 

I must have tried to start a conversation with him nearly a hundred times that day. Even when we stopped for a mid-day meal he didn't say much. He unpacked the food and helped me off my horse, then sat up against a tree trunk while he ate. He seemed lost in thought and I didn't wish to disturb him. As he helped me back onto my horse, I dared to ask him a single question. "Why are you doing this?"

"Would you rather get up on your own?" He handed me my reigns then stepped towards his horse.

"That's not what I mean," I called after him. 

"I know." He swung himself up onto his horse and urged it forward, immediately breaking into a fast pace so I could say nothing more.

 

When the sun started to set, we found ourselves at the base of the Mountains of Mirkwood. Legolas decided we would make camp here and the next day we would follow the mountains to the Western edge of the forest. I began to dismount, but in an instant Legolas was at my side, his strong hands lifting me to the ground. " _Diola lle_."

" _Lle creoso_." He returned to his horse and took out some elven bread and cheese, the remainder of our meal earlier. 

"We made good progress today," was my comment as he laid out our supper. 

"We will make better progress once we reach Anduin." He lay one of the blankets on a log and waited til I was seated before sitting on a stump across from me. To be honest, I didn't know how well our traveling had been going. My comment had only been to draw out a response from my companion. Once we reached Anduin, the great river, we need only follow it south til it reached Lorien. The traveling would be easier, but more out in the open. If there was anything to fear in Mirkwood, it would find us along the river. 

"Do you fear we will meet spiders in the forest?" I watched Legolas after I asked the question and he remained intent on the food before him. 

"We hunted down the few we found in the East."

"Is there anything else...we may meet?"

"Do you fear the forest?" For the first time, Legolas's eyes found mine. His were so like his father's. So deep and blue. But Legolas's eyes were curious and excited where Thranduil's were dark and brooding. Every movement Legolas made he seemed to have inherited from Thranduil. In the long hours of riding, my mind had been occupied with nothing else. 

"I fear what I do not know."

"Then you must fear much." Legolas stood and walked back to where our horses were tied to a large tree and began unbuckling one of the saddle bags.

"I only know little because much has been kept from me." I turned towards him as I remained sitting. "Why are you taking me to Lothlorien?" He paused a moment, his back to me, then continued his work, pulling two more blankets from the bag. 

"That is the only place you will be safe."

"But why? Why must I be taken away?"

"You could not be kept in Mirkwood once...she found out about your existence." 

"You speak of the new queen." I stood and Legolas picked up the blanket I had been sitting on. "You were the one who told her to go to the dungeons, weren't you?" He remained silent as he walked back to the tree. "You wanted her to know I existed."

"I simply wanted her to see what a future looks like with the king of Mirkwood." Legolas turned around and examined me briefly. "Can you climb?"

"Climb?" I stepped towards him as my face showed my confusion. He pointed up into the tree and I looked up to see a platform, like the ones in Mirkwood, built between the tree we stood under and another. "I can try..." All elves should be able to climb. We were wood elves, it was in our nature, yet I had not climbed trees in many years. Legolas climbed up first, showing me where to place my hands and feet and I followed behind him, slowly but surely. By some miracle I reached the top, and Legolas's hand grasped mine to pull me onto the platform. We were not very high up, but we were off the forest floor and hidden from unwanted eyes. The sun had almost disappeared by this time and Legolas spread out the blankets we had, adding extra to my make-shift bed. I settled down on the blanket and watched the color disappear from the sky as darkness consumed us. The moon peaked out from behind a silver cloud, allowing a small amount of light to reach us. Legolas stood on the edge of the platform, his eyes and ears alert to the sounds in the forest. I could not sleep when all I wanted was to question him. "Why does the king want a queen?"

"Is this a way of asking why you were not chosen?" Legolas's answered seemed to be a prepared one, as if he expected this conversation and planned to explain why I was not Thranduil's choice. 

"If that is an answer you can give."

"I do not know why he wants a queen. I simply know that if he wanted one, he could not choose you." He shifted slightly. "You were placed in a position to serve the king...he could not make you an equal."

"And he told you this?"

"I believe you know what you were, Aylariel." Legolas turned towards me. "I believe you can understand why he could not choose you." I was silent after that. It was true, I did understand why Thranduil didn't choose me. I was simply his  _feliken_. His whore. And you don't make a whore a queen. I settled into my bed of blankets and my eyes closed slowly. The morrow would bring a longer day of travelling. Rest, not questions, would be my friend now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arwenamin: My lady  
> Diola lle: Thank you  
> Lle creoso: You're welcome  
> Feliken: Whore  
> \----  
> I know, I know there's not enough Thranduil! We will stay connected to him through dreams and memories on this short vacation from Mirkwood :)


	4. Mi 'aladhremmin ennorath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words so far <3\. I cannot tell you how excited I get every time I get a new comment or kudos. You all are amazing <3  
> I have a very exciting idea for where this story is going and I wish I could talk it over with all of you without letting you know what it is so you'll still be surprised! Anyways, just know that big things are coming :D

When I awoke, I was confused at not seeing the silver ceiling of the king's apartments above my head. I rolled onto my side and immediately felt shocks of pain ran down my back and legs. The reality hit me full force of where I was - sleeping in a tree, far away from the lavish surroundings of Thranduil's chambers. I pushed myself into a sitting position, biting my tongue so I would not cry out in pain. The long day of riding had taken it's toll on my legs and my back hurt from having to sleep on a hard, wooden surface all night. The sun was just beginning to peak through the branches in the tree and I blinked in its light. On the other side of the platform, Legolas slept with his back propped against the trunk of the tree, a blanket pulled over him. I heard the sound of a wren chirping and a moment later, it was answered from farther away. I had always loved the forest in the early morning. It's color was bright with the morning sun and the animals who awoke before I did were busy about their work. Using the tree behind me, I pulled myself to a standing position and slowly stretched, trying to soothe the pain in my back. I desperately wanted a warm bath and as the sun's light became brighter, I knew that Legolas would wake at any moment and urge us on. Carefully, I made my way to the place in the tree we had climbed up the night before and began to lower myself over the edge, wincing as I placed weight on my sore limbs. My foot slipped twice, but I was able to catch myself, thankful that the platform was not any higher than it was. When my feet hit the ground, I looked back up towards the platform, expecting Legolas to appear over the edge, but all was silent. I now turned towards the mountains before me, listening intently for any sound of a water source, and I was rewarded. Following the sound of the trickling water, I only had to walk a little ways before I discovered a small pool which was fed by a mountain stream. Quickly shedding my garments, I slid into the cool water, letting out a sigh of contentment. I gently massaged my weary limbs and the water was comforting to me. I sunk into the water, letting it rush over my head a moment before I stood again, the water draining from my face and hair. I could not stay long, fearing that the prince would come and find me here as I bathed. I lingered for a few more moments as I relaxed, my eyes closed. This was not a bad start to my day. As I pulled myself out of the water, I grabbed the cloak I had worn the day before and wrapped it around my body as I wrung out my hair. 

"Aylariel!" The sound of running feet was followed by the appearance of Legolas as he discovered my whereabouts. "There you are." He ignored my appearance as he nodded. "Hurry. We must be on." Then he disappeared back the way he had come. I was thankful for my decision to get out of the water when I did and quickly redressed before joining him at our small camp site. He handed me a small container of dried meat before rolling up the blankets he had taken down from the platform. He looked so awake and alert even though I knew he could not have been awake for very long. 

"Did you sleep well?" 

"I spent most of the night awake. I must have fallen asleep right before you awoke." He stuffed the blankets back into a saddle bag and proceeded to feed the horses. 

"Did you keep watch all night?"

"I know there is nothing to fear in the woods, but I remain nervous." His blue eyes turned on me. "I do not want to be surprised."

"Why is it only you who is taking me to Lothlorien?"

"Do you know any other phrases that are not questions?" A smile played around the corners of his mouth. " _Ada_  would not allow anyone else to come. He did not want to draw attention to our journey. He was against my coming, but I told him I would take you with his permission or without it." Such rebellion against Thranduil was uncommon and only brought more questions to my mind. Legolas's fingers now ran gently over his horses's mane as he caressed her gently. Soft elvish words flowed off his tongue and the horse responded by leaning her head into his shoulder. Legolas smiled now as he lay his forehead against his horse's white skin, continuing to speak gently. I glanced at my own horse, apologetic that I could not do the same for him. I was not blessed with Legolas's way with animals. The prince pressed his lips against his horse's head before turning towards me. "We must be off. We have a long way to travel today." He walked over and gently lifted me into my saddle. My bath had soothed my muscles, but I still winced as I was placed into a riding position. "Are you not well?" Legolas asked, the concern showing in his voice.

"I'm just not used to such long journeys." I gave him a small smile, but his eyes searched my face for a moment before handing me the reigns. 

"Tell me if you need to stop before mid-day." He walked back towards his horse and the question in my mind could be held in no longer. 

"Why me, Legolas?" My words did not cause him to stop as he effortlessly swung into his saddle. "You said it yourself. I was the king's  _feliken_. Why would you want to help me? Did you even know I existed before that day you found me in the king's bed?" Legolas was sitting on his horse now, but he kept his horse still. 

"I did not." He turned towards me now, his eyes full of determination. "I was there when  _ada_  gave the order for you to be put in the dungeon. I saw his new queen being brought in that same day. I do not know you well, Aylariel, but I know that whatever service you have done my father, it did not warrant what he did to you." Then he spoke a word to his horse and it started off briskly. I followed, but I did not know what to think now. I surely did not deserve the kindness from the young prince. I did not deserve any of it. 

 

_Rin anthar annun-aerath_

_Calad ammen i reniar_

_Mi 'aladhremmin ennorath_

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel_

_I chin a thul lin miriel_

_Fanuilos le linnathon_

_Ne ndor haer thar i aeron_

_A elin na gaim eglerib_

_Ned in ben-anor trerennin_

_Si silivrin ne pherth 'waewib_

_Cenim lyth thilyn thuiennin_

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel_

_Men echenim si derthiel_

_Ne chaered hen nu 'aladhath_

_Ngilith or annun-aearath_

"I cannot count the number of times I have heard that song sung." Legolas turned in his saddle to smile at me. "Though never does it lose any of its beauty." I returned his smile, my cheeks turning a light pink color. The song expressed hope for the life beyond and was one all elves knew. The journey had gotten long and I found myself singing it aloud without meaning to. "You sing very well."

"Thank you, my lord." He slowed his horse enough for me to ride beside him. 

"You may call me Legolas."

"And how did you come to know my name, Legolas?"

"I questioned Tauriel after you were placed in your cell. She told me all she knew." He turned towards me again, this time his eyes dancing with laughter. "She told me your message to the king." This time, my cheeks turned crimson, though I was not sure where my embarrassment was coming from. I had meant every word, yet somehow having Legolas know my words made me wish I hadn't said them. "They were nothing compared to your words after your meeting." I turned my eyes away, but Legolas's merry laugh brought them back to him. "I admire your courage in saying them."

"I couldn't let him stand there and do this to me without saying anything."

"And I can assure you he heard every word." Legolas's words were kind, but as I turned my eyes forward I knew it didn't matter. Thranduil could hear every one of my words and thousands more and still be as unmovable as the mountains beside us. He would never be sorry for what he had done to me. "And there it is. Anduin." At Legolas's words, I was drawn out of my thoughts and I saw the great river before us. I pushed my horse into a faster pace as we rode into the open, anxious for a better look. It's beauty was incomprehensible. It roared loudly as it rushed South, stretching out in both directions as far as our sharp eyes could see. I slid off of my horse and stood on its banks, holding the reigns in one hand as my eyes watched the flowing waters. Across the river lay open land, and I could see the Misty Mountains in the distance. It was here that it hit me how very far we were from home. We were on the outskirts of Mirkwood and now must travel South to reach Lorien. My eyes drifted back towards the forest as Legolas walked up beside me and I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I did not belong so far away from my king. The pain in my chest grew greater and I had to steady myself as my body gave way to my emotions. I had not cried since the first day in my cell and every part of me now ached with the need. As Legolas took the reigns from my fingers, I fell to my knees, sobs erupting through my body. Soon I was sobbing. Why? Why me? Why did he want me so far away from him? Why could things not have stayed how they were? How can I be in so much pain while he sat on his throne feeling nothing? As much as I hated Thranduil for what he had done, I could not extinguish the love I felt for him. It only made it hurt more. Everything had happened so fast, and now the river before me reminded me of everything behind me. But looking behind would never allow me to move forward. I tried to steady myself, gasping for air, my fingers now digging into the ground before me. I took a few deep breaths, but my body continued to shake. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder and I was drawn into Legolas's arms. He helped me stand, keeping me close against him. It felt so strange to be held in someone else's arms and my body recoiled from his touch. I pulled away, trying to smile gratefully. He couldn't have known what to do as I was crying on the ground. 

"I'm alright, thank you." I nodded, but Legolas's eyes continued to examine me, full of concern. "Really." I took a few steps back, away from him, and turned, noticing he had tied the horses up at the edge of the forest. The sun had begun its decent and we would need to make our camp. 

"I'll start a fire." Legolas left my side in search of wood, leaving me to my thoughts again. I stood looking out at the river. Though I wished with all of my heart that I had been allowed to stay by the side of my king, he had removed me from his presence. My eyes turned southward, where our journey would take us the following day. My next chapter was in Lorien and perhaps there I would find peace.

 

_My eyes grew wide as I stepped into the enormous room that seemed to be covered in silver. I didn't know where to look, for everything was so beautiful. Thranduil's hands remained on my shoulders as my dark eyes drank it all in. "And this," his voice was low by my ear, "Is where you will live." I turned to look at him, the excitement showing in my eyes as I could not believe his words. A small smile appeared on his lips and he released me, folding his hands in front of him. I immediately moved into action, running about the room like an excited child moving from one thing to another. I examined the silver engraved into the tables, slid my fingers over the fabric covering the elaborate couches, ran out onto the balcony and was filled with amazement at the view. Then I found the bed. The biggest and most beautiful bed I had seen in my entire life. It was covered in white linen with silver threads swirling through it like rivers on a map. The bedposts were made of long sticks twisted together, reaching up to the ceiling. The headboard glittered with stones that were set into the wood. I laughed as I fell backwards into the soft blankets. Thranduil stood watching me, looking interested and satisfied. As I lay on the bed, he walked over to me, removing his outer robes before he laid down beside me, propping himself on his side so his eyes could look down into mine. "Are you happy?"_

_"I am happy." I beamed up at him. He smiled, then leaned over and moved his fingers slowly up my side. I flinched at first, then relaxed into his touch as his hand moved around to my back and his body moved closer to mine. His eyes searched mine for a moment then I slid my eyes closed as his lips touched mine for the first time. Inside I felt terrified, but as the king pressed his body against mine, I moved my hands up to his hair, holding onto him as he moved over me. He slowly deepened the kiss and a moan escaped my lips. This seemed to urge him forward and he kissed me passionately as one of his hands began to pull at the front of my dress. As his fingers touched my skin for the first time, another surge of fear ran through my body. But I shoved it down. The king had invited me to stay with him in his palace and there was no way I would ruin that now._

I gasped and sat up quickly as I awoke from my dream. Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair. Every night I had dreamed of him and it was getting to be too much. I did not want to relive the memories from my past. I wanted to move forward. I settled back down into the bed Legolas had made for me as my eyes moved to the moon in the sky. So still, so beautiful. I sighed again and tried to calm my racing mind, but I was too scared to sleep. I was too terrified to see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ada: Father  
> Feliken: Whore  
> Elvish song translation:  
> O Queen beyond the Western Seas!  
> O Light to us that wander there  
> Amid the world of woven trees  
> Gilthoniel! O Elbereth!  
> Clear are they eyes and bright is breath  
> Snow-white! Snow-white! We sing to thee  
> In a far land beyond the Sea!  
> O Stars that in the Sunless Year  
> With shining hand by thee were sown,  
> In windy fields now bright and clear  
> We see your silver blossom blown!  
> O Elbereth Gilthoniel!  
> We still remember, we who dwell  
> In this far land beneath the trees,  
> Thy starlight on the Western Seas  
> Source: http://www.amagpiesnest.com/source_songs/FOTR/SSpassing_of_the_elves.htm


	5. Lorien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all so amazing. Every time I see a new comment I get so excited and honestly I don't feel like I deserve all of this praise - its so overwhelming :'). Thank you so much for sticking with me so far :).   
> Also, I'm sorry for anyone who knows anything about Elvish...I'm doing my best with piecing it together and I hope its not too disjointed.

Anduin began to lose some of its beauty as the long hours enveloped us. I struggled to keep my mind off of my sore legs and off of the questions that pestered my brain, which left me with examining my surroundings and speaking to Legolas. I soon found that Legolas did not enjoy long conversations and when the only scenery was the river to one side and the trees to another, the hours began to grow unbearable. I looked forward to stopping every night, though the ground was no comfort to my weary body. When sleep would finally overtake me, I would only dream of Thranduil. The dreams were all memories that were never-ending. On the seventh day, my body collapsed as Legolas helped me off my horse and I barely ate before falling into a fitful sleep. I dreamed of Thranduil again. This time, it was of the day he left me. I watched the scene unfold before me, feeling completely helpless. I watched him ask if I loved him. I watched myself reply truthfully. Then the guards were grabbing me, pulling me down to the dungeons and I screamed, trying to pull away from them and get to Thranduil as he faded slowly into the distance. No matter how hard I pulled or how loud I screamed, I continued to be drawn farther away from him. Then suddenly I was sitting up and I found myself in a small cave. The floor was cool, but a small fire burned farther in the back of the cave. I took a few deep breaths before pulling my blanket closer around me. Feeling eyes on me, I turned to see Legolas watching me intently."You cried out." He spoke calmly, though not without concern.

"I'm sorry. It's only a dream," I said softly. 

"Every night you cry out. Sometimes more than once. These dreams are keeping you from the rest you need." 

"I am not strong enough to pull my mind away from what appears in my dreams each night." Neither was I strong enough to ride each day without sleep, as Legolas did.

"Is it the same dream?" I shook my head slowly. 

"Not the same, but they are all memories." Legolas looked at me for a moment, as if considering something, then he spoke soothingly. 

"Come. Sleep by me." His words surprised me and I hesitated. "Perhaps I can take your mind off of your dreams." I slowly moved over to his side of the cave, sitting next to him against the wall, being sure to leave space between us. He seemed satisfied and did not push me to move closer. "Have you ever been to Lorien?" I shook my head and he smiled, his eyes moving to the empty wall in front of us as the images filled his head. "I traveled there once long ago. I went with a message from my father for Lady Galadriel." His face now seemed to fill with wonder and it made me wish I could enter his mind and see the sights he could only describe to me. "The trees seem to be lit with starlight...as if darkness itself was their mortal enemy. Entering there is like entering an enchanted dream. I spent every moment there wishing I would never have to leave." His smile began to fade as he pulled himself from his memory and turned towards me. "You will be very happy there, Aylariel."

"It sounds beautiful." I smiled, but I could not feel happy, even at his description. "But I fear being alone."

"I have a friend there, Haldir, captain of the guard. I will stay with you until you are willing to let him take my place. He will care for you when I am gone."

"Will he know what I am?" My fearful eyes stared into Legolas's calm ones. "Will he know what has been done?"

"Only if you desire him to."

"I am a stranger in their land." I turned my gaze towards the fire, which had become no more than glowing embers. "They will ask questions."

"And we will tell them whatever you wish."

"Does not the Lady Galadriel know all?" I suddenly turned back towards him. "Will she not condemn me?" Like other elf children, I had grown up with tales of the Lady of Lorien. She was described as being supremely beautiful, full of powerful magic. But we were also told that she could see into our very souls and could see any darkness that lingered there. Though the stories may have been exaggerated, Lady Galadriel's magic would be able to see what I was. And that I feared. 

"Lady Galadriel will see you as someone who needs her help." Legolas could only be speculating, so his words did not comfort this new fear. "She would only condemn my father for his actions." I nodded, though I couldn't believe her to be that gracious. I was not an innocent part in this affair and had no right to believe Galadriel would find me to be. Looking out of the opening in the cave, I saw the moon through the trees. The night was not as dark as before, but the morning was still far away. My eyes were heavy with sleep, but my mind was filled with fear of the journey ahead and of our destination. "I can feel your worry, Aylariel." Legolas's eyes found mine, but I looked away quickly. He had seen so much of the world compared to me. I feared the forest and the unknown, while he seemed to fear nothing. He had left our realm countless times, while I had stayed close to home and away from the gates. I only wished to be kept safe, while Legolas hungered for adventure. "You must be tired." He grabbed one of the blankets and folded it before laying it down beside him. " _Esta sii_." I slowly lay down, my head on the blanket he had folded, my long hair brushing against his side. As my eyes closed, I felt his hesitant fingers against my forehead, gently brushing the hair from my face. For the first time, I did not recoil from his touch, instead it soothed me. I slipped into a deep sleep and that night, I did not dream of what was behind me. 

 

"We are already at the edge of their territory," Legolas informed me as we stopped to let our horses drink from the edge of the great river. "Before midday, their guards will have seen us." The excitement was showing in his face and I desperately tried to feel excited with him. "We are close." He turned his horse and began a faster pace down the edge of the woods and I followed close behind him. Our journey was close to its end and while I was still uneasy about our destination, I longed to get off my horse and know I would not have to use it again for some time. In front of me, Legolas was scanning the forest and my eyes followed his. Every sound alerted him and I always expected to see an elf stepping out of the forest, but none ever appeared. The sun had almost reached its high point when Legolas signaled us to stop. We let our horses stay by the river and stood on its banks as we ate what was left of our provisions. "They know we are here." Legolas's eyes were drawn back to the forest. 

"Then why do they not show themselves?"

"They may wish to know our mission before making themselves known." 

"Should we shout it out and let them know?" I did not know the ways of these elves of Lorien and so far, they confused me. Legolas showed no signs of worry, so I felt it best to trust him.

"I will go into the forest and see if they are near. Stay here." As Legolas began to walk away, I knew this was a terrible idea. Leaving me alone was never a good idea. 

"Are you sure?"

"I will not be long." He disappeared into the trees, leaving me standing on the banks of the Anduin with our two horses. I turned to look out at the river, pushing down the fear that was threatening to overtake me. As the minutes ticked by, it became harder to keep it down. Anything could happen to me out in the open like this. I turned again to the forest, opening my mouth to call out his name, when I was stopped by a group of strange elves, each with their bows drawn back, arrows aimed at me. I stifled a scream as my hand flew up to cover my mouth. 

  
_"Legolas, utinu Thranduil, sinta. Amin, u-istan. Mani naa essa en lle? Mankoi naa lle sinome?_ " The elf who addressed me stepped forward and his eyes examined me with an air of disgust. His hair was very fair and his eyes were dark like mine. He wore the garb of an Elven soldier and a cloak was pulled around him, buckled at his shoulder with the emblem of a green leaf. "Answer me, elf maid." His voice was immediately more commanding.

" _Aylariel O'Mirkwood_." I somehow found the courage to speak.

"What brings you to Lorien,  _Aylariel O'Mirkwood?_ And why do you come alone?"

"I..." My eyes frantically looked around for Legolas, but everywhere I looked were unfamiliar Elven faces, full of determination and distrust. 

" _Aaye, Haldir O'Lorien!_ " At the sound of Legolas's voice, I cried out his name and in a moment, he was at my side, looking directly at the elf that had spoken to me. "Do you treat all your guests this way?"

"Long has it been since Legolas, son of Thranduil, has visited Lorien." The elf raised his hand and all his warriors took a step back, withdrawing their arrows. "Why is it he comes this day?"

"Am I not welcome here?" At this, the elf smiled. 

" _Creoso, mellonamin. Oio naa elealla alasse'_." 

"Thank you." As Legolas spoke, I noticed that his arm had wound around me, his hand resting gently on my back. I also noticed that I had stopped shaking with fear. The elf before us turned and signaled for a few of his warriors to fall in line behind him while the rest disappeared back into the forest. 

"Come, we will escort you into Lothlorien."

 

We walked the rest of the way to where Anduin connected with another river, flowing from the West. Here, we climbed into boats that were rowed down this new river and into the entrance to another forest. Here was Lorien. As we drifted down the river, the trees became more dense, but the light did not diminish. Lights appeared in the trees around us and soon we were looking up into the glittering city. Here, the stairways that wound around the trees were silver and encased in light, unlike those in Mirkwood. Everything was bright and radiant. It was, indeed, like entering a dream. When we stepped off of the boat, we were led down a path to a garden and told to wait there. Everything surrounding us was beautiful and my fear of this place was suddenly gone. I felt peaceful and revived. Next to me, Legolas seemed lost in his own world and the happiness in his eyes grew with every new thing he saw. 

"Legolas." The prince's name was spoken by a voice calm, but powerful. It hung in the air, ringing out around us. I turned to see lady, surrounded my light, entering the garden. She was fairer than any I had ever laid eyes on and her presence commanded all attention. Her golden hair fell in waves across her shoulders and her bare feet could be seen beneath her pure-white gown. "You have not been in Lorien for many years. You are welcome here." He gave a small bow as a smile pulled across his face. 

"Thank you, Lady Galadriel."

"But you did not come alone." Her eyes were turned on me and in them, I saw the rushing waters of the Anduin. I saw the power of the rapids as well as the stillness of the shallows. In her eyes, I saw myself and everything that I had done - good and bad. And I knew she also saw it. I was filled with fear, but also with a peaceful stillness. "Aylariel, servant of the king." She crossed over to me and stood before me, her eyes looking into all that I was. "You are full of sorrow and pain." Her white fingers reached out and gently ran down the side of my face as she smiled. "You bear something..." Her smile was quickly replaced with a look of alarm and she took a step back. "You should not have come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esta sii: Rest now  
> Legolas, utinu Thranduil, sinta. Amin, u-istan. Mani naa essa en lle? Mankoi naa lle sinome?: Legolas, son of Thranduil, I know. You I don't know. What is your name? Why are you here?  
> Aylariel O'Mirkwood: Aylariel Of Mirkwood  
> Aaye, Haldir O'Lorien!: Hail, Haldir of Lorien!  
> Creoso, mellonamin. Oio naa elealla alasse': Welcome, my friend. Ever is thy sight a joy.


	6. Din

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again - thank you so much for your comments :). I also wanted to say a special thank you to Marie, my best friend as well as my inspiration and editor - thank you, darling, for everything you do <3

The cool morning air caressed my face and I breathed it in, my eyes closing for a moment, then opening to look out from the small balcony attached to my room. The sun was not quite risen and the harsh cold from the night before still remained. I pulled my cloak farther around me and my eyes drifted to the pool of water below me where Legolas was. As I watched him sink under the water, my mind was filled with the memories of the evening before. 

 

_"What did you hope to accomplish by bringing her here?" Haldir's words had followed Legolas as the young prince paced the room._

_"This is the only place she would be safe from my father. You know we have dealings with Rivendell."_

_"But you brought her to Lorien?"_

_"What would you have had me do, Haldir?" Legolas asked harshly as he stopped pacing._

 

As Legolas resurfaced, he ran his hands over his wet hair slowly, the water draining from his face and shoulders.

 

_"Why is she any concern of yours, Legolas?" Haldir's questions were fair and I had heard Legolas sigh.  
_

_"She needed my help. I couldn't let my father keep her in the dungeons or...She's done nothing wrong."_

 

He swam to one side of the pool where he looked up into the trees before him, pausing at their beauty. His long blonde hair floated around him, creating a golden circle where he stood. 

 

_"Done nothing wrong?" Haldir's voice was suddenly loud and forceful. "She allowed herself to be used by the king in every way imaginable, Legolas. She is at much at fault as your father."_

  
_"No!" Legolas's volume matched that of his friend. "That would have been true if nothing had changed, but he removed her from him so he could have a new queen. How can you tell me that she is as much at fault as that?_ "

 

Elvish words drifted up to where I was standing and it sounded like the trees themselves were singing. Old elvish songs that we had learned as children. The sound was calming and beautiful. 

 

_"But she cannot stay. That is decided."_

_"But she will see us again?"_

_"I cannot speak on behalf of the Lady of Lorien." Haldir had taken a step back, towards the door. "But I will bring you any news." Then he was gone, leaving Legolas and I alone in our apartments. Legolas had sighed again as he sunk into the couch across from me, burying his face in his hands._

 

I returned to my room and sat down to wait. All we could do now was wait. They had shown us to our rooms last night and we had been instructed to stay here until word came to us. I felt like a prisoner again and a sort of quietness had overtaken me. I did not want to say anything, I did not want to think anything. I simply wanted to sit in silence. Lorien was to be a place of safety and now even this beautiful forest had rejected me. I did not know what Galadriel had meant by her words, but she must have realized what I was. My story was not simply a sad one that would cause all to pity me. My story involved months of me staying in the king's chambers and that part of my story tended to overshadow all others. 

 

When Legolas returned to our rooms, he was also silent. He had changed into a silver robe, similar to his fathers, only his was shorter - reaching only his mid-thigh. Beneath it, he wore dark leggings and black boots that came to his knees. At each side of his head was a small braid and both joined together at the back. "Any news?" He asked before sitting down on the couch across from me. I shook my head and moved my eyes to the floor. "She has to see us again today...they cannot compel us to leave with no explanation..." I wanted to reply and tell him that Galadriel was not compelled to do anything. This was her home and we did not belong here. 

"I think I will go rest." I slowly pulled myself to my feet and started towards my bedroom.

"Are you alright? You look pale."

"I'll be fine." I tried to hide the fact that I needed to hold onto the furniture as I walked across the room, but Legolas's eyes were too quick.

"Let me help you." He was suddenly by my side, putting his arm around my middle and letting me lean on him. "You need not hide anything from me," he said softly. He helped me to my bed then asked if there was anything else I needed. I shook my head and he silently left the room, leaving me to the rest I desperately needed. But sleep evaded me. All I could do was lay in my bed silently. Silence. Nothing but silence. 

 

Food was brought to us at midday and I came out of my room to eat with Legolas, expecting to return there immediately after. However, we were surprised with a visit from Haldir as we ate. "She will see you." 

"Thank you, Haldir, we are-" Legolas's words of thanks were cut off by his friend.

"She will see you, Legolas. She has not decided whether she will see the girl." At this, he turned his eyes on me for a moment, and in them I saw his disapproval. 

"I will come with you now." Legolas made a move to get up, but Haldir motioned for him to stay.

"There is no reason to rush. She will await you when you are finished." He then turned and left the room, leaving Legolas looking frustrated. He turned his attention to his food, but I could see his anger boiling just under the surface. 

"Do not be angry, Legolas. I should not have expected a warm welcome." At this declaration, Legolas threw down his utensils and leaned back in his chair, a scowl appearing on his face. 

"You are a guest in need of assistance. My father..." He sighed before propping his elbows on the table and leaning his forehead against his folded hands. "She cannot just sit back and let this happen."

"Legolas, please-"

"I will return later." He shoved his chair back and stood up quickly. A few of his long strides took him to the door, then he disappeared into the hallway. I looked at the food before me that I had barely eaten and decided to stop trying. Nothing had any taste in my mouth any more. I left the table and moved to the sofa, stretching myself across it. Servants came and took away the uneaten food and I tried to interest myself in a map on the wall behind me. When I held up my finger, the distance from Mirkwood to Lorien only stretched from the tip to my knuckle. It made me feel closer to home, but I knew that I was only deceiving myself. More than five hundred miles stretched between where I now lay and the Woodland Realm. So far away. I felt the tears coming to my eyes again, but I pushed them back. I wouldn't cry anymore. I tried to remember happier times, but all my mind wanted to remember was Thranduil. 

 

_"What will you do today?" My question was an attempt to break his silence over breakfast. His eyes drifted up from the scroll he was reading to look at me, but soon returned to the markings before him._

_"Since when are you asking questions like that?"_

_"I'm sorry, my lord...I only wish not to remain in this silence."_

_"I will speak to you when I want to, Aylariel. At present, there is nothing to say." He picked up the glass before him and brought it to his lips, returning to his state of ignoring me. I wanted to ask why he let me eat with him at all if he only wished to eat in silence. Instead, I glanced down at the plate of food before me that I no longer wished to eat. I folded my hands in my lap and my eyes returned to the king across the table. Instead of his large crown made from sticks and autumn leaves, the king of Mirkwood now wore a crown of silver around his head with a single white stone set into the metal over his forehead. His blue eyes ran swiftly over the scroll he held, while he again brought his glass to his lips. "Will you continue to stare at me in this way?" His eyes finally raised back to mine. "Can you not find a more suitable employment?"_

_"Mani uma lle merna amin avo garo, hodoer?" My words were not spoken with the respect they should have been and his eyes immediately  narrowed. He looked at me for a moment, but only a moment, before returning to his scroll._

_"Auta. I do not wish to see you again this morning."_

"My lady." The firm words awoke me and I opened my eyes to see two elf women clad in white before me. "Our lady will see you now." 

"But...where is Legolas?"

"Our lord, Legolas, is still in her presence." I was helped to my feet then led out of the room and down the stairs that led to our apartments. As I was brought along platforms and up stairways, my eyes looked around me at the radiance of Lorien. The singing that I had heard that morning seemed to have continued and the whole forest was full of its sweet sound. I was able to manage a small smile, but it soon disappeared as we neared the great tree that held Galadriel's throne room. Halfway up the stairs, voices were able to be heard and I could distinguish Legolas's apart from one I did not know. As I crossed the final platform and the great room opened before me, the voices had stopped and Legolas was leaving. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but his eyes turned on me and in them I saw an unreadable look. It surprised me. He then quickly turned away and brushed past me and down the stairs. 

"Come, Aylariel." I turned and saw an elf who was also dressed in radiant white. "I am Celaborn, lord of Lorien," he informed me as he held out his hand. "Galadriel awaits you." As I stepped forward to place my hand in his, I almost fell, and immediately the two elves who had brought me here were at my side. "You are weak," Celeborn observed. He stepped to my side and let me slide my arm through his. He then led me across the large platform and up a few large stairs to an open room that sat with branches extending out from under it in every direction. Lady Galadriel stood with her back towards us near the edge of the room, but turned as we reached the top of the stairs. She took one look at me before her eyes widened and she crossed the room swiftly. 

"She is fading." Her gentle hands touched the sides of my face and she held me tenderly, causing me to look at nothing but her eyes. "Do not slip away." The worry began to fade from her face, replaced with a beautiful smile. "You have nothing to fear, Aylariel of Mirkwood. You still have friends among the elves." As the words left her lips, they rang in my mind. She made me truly believe every word she said and I seemed revived with new life. It felt like taking a deep breath after coming up from underwater. She released me and took a step back, her eyes examining me closely. "You must survive this, Aylariel." Her words were firmer now, the sweetness having left her tone. "And not just for yourself." Her eyes were suddenly piercing mine and the calmness I felt in her presence was replaced with fear. "You bear something of Thranduil's." The fear in my stomach suddenly became a sharp pain and I gasped, clutching at my stomach, as I realized the meaning behind her words. I was carrying something of Thranduil's. I was carrying his child. 

 

I awoke in large bed with no memory of how I got there. I sat up, my eyes full of confusion, pushing the white silk covers off of me. "Are you not comfortable?" The voice surprised me and I turned to see one of the maidens who had woken me before, standing by the other side of the bed. 

"Why am I here?"

"You fainted. Lady Galadriel instructed that you be brought here until you are well again."

"Where is Legolas?" As soon as I spoke, a curtain at the end of the room was drawn back and Haldir entered. 

" _Auta_." The girl immediately obeyed, leaving us alone in the room. "Are you well, Aylariel?"

"Where is Legolas?" I repeated.

"Legolas has been sent back to Mirkwood. There was no need for him to stay any longer."

"No." I wanted to scream it out, but the word escaped my lips in almost a whisper as I quickly stood. "No, he can't do that. He cannot leave me."

"Be assured that you soon will follow him back to those woods."

"No." Now I was shaking my head in disbelief. My eyes looked around for some way of escape, but Haldir stood in front of the only exit. 

"Lady Galadriel has placed me at your disposal so call for me if there is anything you desire." He stepped back towards the curtain. 

"He knew...he found out then he left me..." I sank back down onto my bed as the realization settled upon me. 

"Legolas hardly had any choice in what he was to do. Once you are well, Galadriel herself will be escorting you back to your home." His words seemed to imply that I wasn't to get too comfortable here since I would not be staying long. "Now you must rest. You are weak and must regain strength for the journey." Once the curtain had fallen back into place after his departure, I was left alone again. Alone with the only thing I did not want now. Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Din: Silence  
> Mani uma lle merna amin avo garo, hodoer?: What do you want me to do, wise one?  
> Auta: Leave


	7. Loth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad some people knew what would happen in the last chapter and I'm glad some people were surprised! I love knowing what you guys think will happen, by the way, so feel free to leave comments telling me what you think will happen :)  
> Also if you still have unanswered questions, let me know! I have the whole thing mapped out in my brain, but sometimes that doesn't translate to my writing, so just let me know so I can make everything clear for you guys :)  
> Lastly, just a heads up, I'm taking a trip this coming week but I will try to be spacing out my chapters so you'll still have new ones to read :)

When I was brought to Galadriel the following day, she was in the gardens. Her white fingers were brushing against the delicate flowers as she whispered elvish words under her breath. After I was escorted to the entrance, the guards stepped back and I went into the garden alone. "I can feel your hurt at Legolas's departure," Galadriel's eyes slowly turned on me, "but he could no longer stay." Something told me not to question her. Had I really expected Legolas to stay with me? He had no attachment to me and had already done more than anyone else would have. 

"Was he upset?"

"He simply did not understand." She took a few steps towards me, her white gown trailing behind her. "Do you understand?" I understood very well what had happened between myself and Thranduil. I understood why I was standing here. I understood why Legolas would leave. I understood why I was in so much pain and I understood why I deserved it. "Your life was almost taken from you yesterday." There was a tone of reproach in her voice. "Thranduil did many things that he should not have done...but you must forget that so you can survive. For the child."

"Why did he want a new queen?" That was the only question I needed an answer for. 

"Many things in this world are changing." She turned and began to walk softly down another path in the garden. "Mirkwood is falling under a spell. If Thranduil wishes to fight this spell, he needs the support of every person in his realm. By taking this new queen, he was making an alliance with his people."

"And what happens when his people find out about me?" Her eyes sharply met mine. 

"We will go to Mirkwood and see what will be done. Thranduil cannot be allowed to continue ignoring you." She turned away as her fingers reached out again to touch the flowers. "You will find your peace, Aylariel. But your peace is not in Lorien."

 

_"Look, Tauriel! Isn't it just grand?" My friend did not seem to share in my excitement as I showed her around the large room. "He's letting me stay with him, Tauriel. I get to live here!"_

_"Do you think that is wise?" Tauriel spoke cautiously._

_"What...what do you mean?" The smile began to fade from my face as I examined her serious countenance._

_"He is the king, Aylariel and...what of his wife?"_

_"His wife is dead, Tauriel." I spoke dismissively as I turned away. "The king wishes to move on."_

_"Why did the king choose you, Aylariel?"_

_"Does it matter?" I whirled around to face her. "Why can't you just be happy for me? I get to see you more now and...and stay here!"_

_"The king should not be keeping a maiden in his chambers who he does not intend to marry."_

_"I'm...I'm sorry you feel like that." My face fell as I turned towards the balcony. "Because I'm happy here and...and it feels good to be wanted."_

_"Aylariel, you know you are loved by so many people." My friend rushed to my side and placed her arms around me before speaking softly. "You do not need this."_

_"But it's what I want," I replied quietly._

_"Alright." Tauriel took a step back from me. "I hope he takes care of you, mellonamin." Then she was gone, disappearing through the great doors to return to her duties. I sighed as I walked out onto the large balcony overlooking the forest. This is where I belonged - not in some small house by myself - here._

 

"I know you're there." I sat at the edge of the pool, my feet dangling in the water when I had felt eyes watching me. "Just because you are at my service does not mean that you need to hide in the shadows." Haldir slowly stepped out from behind the trees.

"Someone must watch over you." As soon as the words had left his mouth, my mind had formed a reply. Legolas always had watched over me. My eyes moved to Haldir's and he seemed to read my response in them. "Legolas is my friend. I would be doing him a service to take care of you." He began to walk around me. 

"I do not need you to do him a service."

"Perhaps you do not know how close you came to death yesterday." He spoke harshly as he turned on me. "Elves can die of a broken heart. You let yourself be affected by someone you knew could not love you." At this, I looked away, inhaling sharply. The words were unfeeling and unkind.

"All you know about me is that I slept in Thranduil's bed," I said softly. "Do not-"

"Is there more for me to know?" Haldir took a step back now as his eyes narrowed. 

"You know nothing!" I said as I turned on him suddenly. "How can you say such words to me?"

"Then tell me," he demanded. "Who is Aylariel of Mirkwood?" My eyes fell to my hands in my lap and I twisted them together for a few moments in silence. Haldir was the first one who had asked me anything about before.

"My father died when I was very young," I began. "A boating accident, I believe. My mother, she was a warrior in the king's guard, went to war with King Oropher. She never came home." I turned to see Haldir had stepped closer as he listened intently. "It was so long ago...I have no memory of my father and only a few memories of my mother. I stayed with a close relative the remaining years before I came of age then I decided to live on my own. I never had anyone there for me before..." My eyes strayed over to Haldir again and he slowly sat down on the ground next to me, still looking at me intently. "Thranduil found me one day in the gardens and invited me to live in his palace. It was far away from the life of loneliness that I knew. I let him take me to his chambers and with him I felt...I felt happy." 

"I lost my brother in the battle of Dagorlad." Haldir spoke calmly of the battle which my great king had been lost in. "Many lives were changed after the war." 

"There is only talk of death." I brought my feet out of the water and pulled them under my long gown as I turned towards the captain next to me. "Even though the dark lord was defeated, all we heard when the soldiers came home was tales of death."

"We were almost lost."

"But we were not." A smile pulled across my lips as I spoke. "We were led to victory by Lord Elrond!"

"You speak very strangely of war, Aylariel. You would speak differently if you were ever placed in one." He spoke sternly, but there was no anger in his eyes. "Why were you not trained as a warrior like your mother?"

"My relatives wanted me to make more of my life. They wanted me to live long so I could sail from the Grey Havens one day. So I learned about flowers instead. It was the trade of my mother's sister."

"Flowers." Haldir gave a light laugh and smiled. It was the first time I had heard him laugh. "We will have no need for your flowers when war is upon us."

"War may come, but I will still tend my roses." We both laughed, and it wasn't until I stopped laughing a few moments later, that I realized I felt happy right now. The last time I had been truly happy had been months before in Thranduil's chambers. And I wasn't even sure I had been happy then.

"But you will have time for flowers while you carry your child." The smile had faded from his face as he spoke and as the reality again settled upon me, my moment of happiness was gone.

"Are you married?"

"No, I am not."

"Then I guess you can't give me any advice." As I spoke, I realized that my hand was resting on my stomach. 

"I can only offer this advice," Haldir said as he rose to his feet again. "In Mirkwood, many will say things to deceive you. Do not listen to them. You have just shown me that you are more than the king's whore, Aylariel." Then he walked away, disappearing between the trees. I looked after him as the words he had spoken sunk in. For the first time since I had left Mirkwood, someone had looked at me as more than just an ornament of the king's bed. Haldir's words were not always kind, but today he had taken the time to listen. And that was more than many others had done.

 

Over the next few weeks, I was kept close to my chambers, which were attached to Haldir's. I was watched closely, but I knew it was only because they wanted to make sure I didn't relapse into grief. I pulled my mind off of Thranduil and the baby as much as I could, though when I was left alone, there wasn't much else to think of. I saw little of Galadriel, though I knew those who watched over me would always report back to her. Haldir was frequently around and sometimes we would talk. I would ask him questions about Lorien and the world. He would ask me about Mirkwood, though I suspected he already knew the answers to his many questions. 

 

One morning, Haldir returned from his post with a bouquet of flowers for me. "I do not know what flowers you would tend in Mirkwood, but these white flowers abound in Lorien."

" _Haldir, ron naa vanima! Diola lle!_ " 

"I'm glad you are pleased." He smiled as I examined them, carefully touching the white petals. "Lady Galadriel also wishes me to inform you that we will leave tomorrow."

"Leave?" I turned suddenly, my eyes widening.

"To return you to Mirkwood." His expression did not change. "Where you belong."

"But...I wish to remain in Lorien."

"King Thranduil is still unaware that you are carrying his child. You are not free to live whatever life you want, it has been chosen for you."

"He does not know..." I said softly. "I thought Legolas would have told him."

"Lady Galadriel wishes to speak to him about it herself."

"But the journey is so long." I remembered the long days I traveled with Legolas in pain and weariness. 

"You will be comfortable. You will have Lady Galadriel with you."

"Will you come?" I asked as the thought appeared suddenly in my mind. 

"I will travel with Lady Galadriel." 

"But she won't make me see him." I took a few quick steps towards him. "Please promise me I don't have to speak to him."

"Lady Galadriel will decide what will be done." He turned and made his way towards his rooms. 

"And that's it?" I called after him. "We will travel all the way back to Mirkwood, announce I'm carrying his child, and what? Have him marry me? No. I will not be forced to regard him as the father of my child, Haldir."

"He is the father of your child whether you wish him to be or not." Haldir said in a very matter-of-fact way as he turned back towards me. "We will go to Mirkwood and see what will be done." Then he disappeared in the hallway between our sets of rooms and I was left with the flowers he had brought me and the impending doom of our journey and destination. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loth: Flower  
> Haldir, ron naa vanima! Diola lle!: Haldir, they are beautiful! Thank you!
> 
> And we are goin' back to Mirkwood! *cheers*


	8. I'noro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your wonderful comments - they honestly mean the world to me <3  
> Also, I found this amazing compilation of Celtic elf music which I wrote this chapter to. If anyone's interested in that, you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asyvA7XjZnw . It's so incredibly beautiful and I think I will write every chapter to that music from now on :)

I was woken up early and dressed in a light blue gown and a gray cloak with a leaf pin to secure it. Dressed like this, I fit in easily with the elves of Lorien. Our traveling group seemed large as it included many guards and attendants, all standing in a neat order by the side of the river. I was helped onto a white horse and was told who my attendant was. To my dismay, it wasn't Haldir, but another elf who offered me a smile and a 'good morning.' I gave him a nod and a small smile. "It is my pleasure to serve you, my lady. I am Tegalad."

"Aylariel." I replied simply. He ducked his head as his smile widened and I immediately felt embarrassed. Of course he knew who I was. "Where is Haldir?" I asked quickly. 

"He rides at the head of our company, with our lady." He motioned in front of us and I watched as Lady Galadriel descended down a path that led towards the river, her hand resting gently on that of one of her servants. She was escorted to a great white horse and gracefully mounted. I noticed Haldir on a gray horse by her side. He turned back in his saddle, his eyes scanning the company. When his eyes fell on me, I tried to smile, but he moved on, running his eyes over the rest of the group before turning back around. He said something to Galadriel and she nodded, then he leaned forward and called something to the two guards that rode just before him. Then we were off. "Are you fond of riding?" Tegalad asked as he rode beside me. 

"Not very." I pushed down the nervousness in my chest and tried to focus on simply breathing in and out. "The eight-day ride from Mirkwood was very hard."

"It will be a shorter journey back."

"Shorter?"

"It should take us no more than three days to reach Mirkwood. Lady Galadriel does not enjoy long rides."

"So she wishes it shorter and it just is?"

"Our lady possesses great magic." I had to admit, I was unaware of that kind of magic, but was very grateful for it. "I know of your condition, my lady, and if you ever experience any discomfort, please let me know." I looked over at my attendant and he smiled again. "It was not long ago that my wife gave birth to our daughter, so I know something of it." I gave him another small smile before looking forward. I now knew why he was assigned to me as my attendant.

 

As we followed the river out of Lorien, I focused my attention on the glowing trees above us. Lothlorien was the most beautiful place I had ever seen and my heart ached to leave it. The trees continued their song as we rode under them, but their notes were slower and sadder. The elvish songs spoke of a sad departure and my eyes fell on the Lady of Light at the front of our company. The songs were being sung for her. I did not know how often Lady Galadriel left her home in Lorien, and now she was leaving it for me. I was grateful to have her go to Mirkwood on my behalf, even though I did not wish to leave her peaceful home. We rode out into the open and the sounds of elvish melodies were now behind us, the rushing waters of Anduin before us. From the front of the column, Galadriel's voice rang out and suddenly, we were splashing through the now-shallow waters of the great river. Once on the other side, our speed picked up and we galloped along the edge of Mirkwood Forest. My attendant was a good one, and he matched my pace perfectly so he was always by my side. This time, the hours did not seem to drag on and I felt the day had gone by too quickly when night began to fall upon us. Instead of dismounting, the elves led their horses to the edge of the water and rested there. I was looking around in a very confused way when Haldir rode his horse up to me. "Are you well?"

"Why aren't we making camp?"

"Lady Galadriel wishes to ride through the night so we may reach the Woodland Ream sooner. Can you continue to ride?" He was speaking quickly as his horse stamped impatiently. I nodded and he turned, riding his horse back to where Galadriel waited. I watched them speak for a moment before riding together past the other horses. 

" _Lye noro e!_ " Haldir called from the front of the group, and immediately the elves moved back into formation. As the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind the mountains to the West, we rode on. 

 

The horses seemed to know the way and the moon was bright, lighting our way. When darkness had finally settled upon us, another light appeared at the front of our company and I realized that it was Lady Galadriel herself, lighting our way. " _Sut naa lle umien?_ " Tegalad asked from beside me. 

"I'm well," I replied. In truth, I was focusing on my breathing again, and though the ride had not affected my limbs as before, pains were beginning in my stomach and causing me to feel sick. 

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you." Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Can I tell you a story, my lady?" At this question, I looked over at him and he gave me a pleasant smile. "It may take your mind off of what you're feeling."

"Alright." I closed my eyes for a moment, exhaling for a final time before Tegalad began his tale. 

"When I was young, my parents took me on a long journey. We traveled to Rivendell, the beautiful city of Lord Elrond, then we traveled West, towards the Grey Havens. We traveled through a great wood and a few towns of men. After many weeks of traveling, we reached what was called The Shire. And there, in The Shire, lived strange creatures. Halflings called Hobbits. They stand no higher than my waist and have large hairy feet." I chuckled with him at this image. "And they do not live in houses like men, or caves like dwarfs, or trees like wood elves...no, they live in holes in the ground that have been hollowed out and made into clean houses. They do not live like animals, for their holes are clean and fully furnished." Telagad smiled over at me. "We were allowed to go into one, but my parents could barely fit, so they allowed me to go in on my own. I was shown about their beautiful home in the ground and offered some of their food. Apparently they have very good appetites and eat frequently." He laughed again. "And everywhere we went in The Shire, they all stood in awe at us, standing so high above them. The children would run around us in circles chanting rhymes about elves and asking us questions. I made many friends those days we spent with the Hobbits."

"And they...really lived in the ground?" I laughed, trying to imagine such strange creatures. 

"Yes!" He joined me in my laughter. "But they were the friendliest creatures you will ever see."

"I would very much like to meet a Hobbit."

"Perhaps one day, my lady, you will get the chance."

"Did you see the Grey Havens also on your trip?"

"We did," he nodded. "We saw the ships with the golden sails and the silver waters that will one day carry us into the West."

"I have been told many tales about the Grey Havens and their beauty."

"Every tale is true, my lady. I anxiously await the day I may go there with my wife and daughter and be allowed to sail for the golden shores across the sea." 

"So do I, Tegalad. I long for those peaceful shores. More so now than I ever had."

"The time is not so far off." He smiled gently. "It will not be long before we are called to travel there."

"And that will be a great day, indeed."

 

The next morning we stopped and let the horses rest before continuing on. We rode on through the next day and into the night, taking few rests. It was late in the night when we reached the familiar gates of my home. Mirkwood elves had met us shortly after we entered the forest and they now called to the guards to open the gates. We rode into the huge city and my eyes looked up to see the trees which I had said farewell to just a few weeks before. There were only a few soldiers of the guard around now and they stepped back to allow us to dismount. Tegalad got off of his horse before walking over to mine and gently lifting me to the ground. "Will you stay by my side?" I asked quietly.

"If you wish it, my lady." He offered me his hand and I took it gratefully. I tried not to hold onto him too tightly, but by now I was absolutely terrified. Everywhere I looked I expected to see...him. Lurking behind a great pillar or walking down one of the stairwells. However, he did not appear. Haldir was speaking harshly in elvish to one of the guards and from what I heard, he was ordering the guard to inform Thranduil of our arrival,  but the guard was imploring Haldir to let the king sleep. 

"If you do not wake the king, I will wake him myself. So shall you do it, or shall I?" Haldir glared at the young guard before him, who stared at him for a moment before turning and running off towards the king's quarters. 

"You are tired." I was surprised to hear Galadriel's voice at my side. 

"Yes, my lady," I replied gently. 

"Tegalad will see to you. You need not stay awake any longer. You have traveled far." Part of me desperately wanted to stay awake just so I could see the outcome of Galadriel's conversation with the king, but my body was craving the rest I had not had in days. As I allowed Tegalad to lead me away, I saw the guard returning from the direction of the king's chambers, but he was not accompanied by the king. Instead, Tauriel was at his side. 

"Haldir of Lorien, Lady Galadriel, we are honored to have you. I'm afraid King Thranduil cannot be disturbed from his rooms. I pray that you..." But now we were out of earshot as we walked along one of the paths, following one of the guards of Mirkwood. We were shown to a set of rooms that was set back in the forest, far away from the king's chambers and his throne room. This calmed me and I thanked the guard before allowing Tegalad to escort me inside. A female attendant had also accompanied us and now Tegalad bowed gently as he said goodnight, before disappearing into one of the other rooms, leaving me alone with the female elf. We walked together to my room where she helped me undress and change into a flowing nightgown. The rooms were quiet, but the comforting sounds of the forest still reached my ears. I heard the sounds of crickets and other night creatures outside my window and they made me smile. I dismissed my attendant and was about to climb into bed when the door to my room was opened and Tauriel flew in, rushing across the room to wrap her arms around me. "Oh my dear, dear Aylariel." She pulled away so she could look into my eyes. "How awfully fate has treated you!"

"You have heard then?"

"Legolas told me after he returned. How are you,  _mellonamin_?"

"I am well, Tauriel." I grasped her hand as we sank onto the bed. "I still cannot quite believe it is all true."

"And the elves of Lorien...have they been good to you?"

"Very good." I smiled gently. "I did not want to leave."

"But you had to." She squeezed my hand. "But what is there to be done?"

"I am told Lady Galadriel will take care of it all. Will she speak to him tonight?" I did not need to tell Tauriel who 'he' was. 

"He refuses to see her tonight. He knows she is angry and will not see her until morning."

"What has happened in the weeks I was away? Tell me everything."

"Few things of merit have happened. He has postponed his new queen being crowned, though, and it is making everyone suspicious."

"So...she is not queen yet?"

"No. I fear he has heard rumors of you and wishes to dispel them before he takes her as his wife."

"They are not married?"

"He says he will marry her on the day she is made queen. So she waits in his chambers."

"And...have you seen much of her?"

"No. No one has." Tauriel spoke sadly of the young queen-to-be and I could not help but feel pity for her. No doubt she thought Thranduil thought very highly of her, and now she was forced to wait while Thranduil dealt with rumors of others. I could only imagine the pain that the news of my child would bring on her. 

"And..." I hesitated a moment, before speaking the prince's name. "Legolas?" Tauriel's eyes fell and she sighed under her breath. 

"He told me the news when he returned, then has refused to speak of it since. I do not know what he is feeling." I heard the pain in Tauriel's voice and I knew that this whole affair had affected her on his behalf. "But I cannot stay." She forced herself to smile at me. "I will see you tomorrow and we will see what our king will do."

"We will see." I embraced my friend for a final time, then she departed, closing the door behind her. I sighed as I slid into the inviting covers of my bed. Tomorrow was a whole new day and I was not sure I was ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'noro: The ride  
> Lye noro e!: We ride on!  
> Sut naa lle umien?: How are you doing?  
> Mellonamin: My friend  
> \----  
> This was actually one of my favorite chapters so far to write :D. I think everyone needs a Tegalad :)  
> And I know so many of you wanted Thranduil in this chapter, and I did too, but I don't want to rush things. The big confrontation will be in the next chapter so hang tight!


	9. Thranduil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I am officially on my trip now so the chapters will be coming out slower for the rest of the week.

 

I awoke very early in the peaceful calm of the forest the next morning. I was up, dressed in a deep red gown, and eating breakfast when Tauriel re-appeared. "Up already?" She asked before kissing my cheek gently and sitting down in the chair beside me. 

"I couldn't sleep any more. Have you eaten?"

"I have," she replied. "I came to see if you were awake, but did not expect to find you so. I was going to see the sunrise, would you like to come?" The thought of getting to see the sunrise immediately brightened my expression.

"I would love to!" 

"Then, come!" Tauriel grinned as we stood up from the table. I followed her outside to find Legolas leaning against one of the trees. 

"Oh," I started, surprised to see him there. "Morning." He gave me a nod, before falling in on Tauriel's other side. It was dark still, but the trees were lit with lanterns, allowing us to see our way to the gates. We slipped out and into the forest, heading down the familiar path to an overlook which would allow us to see the sun rise above Erabor. Tauriel and Legolas were very familiar with the forest, much more so than I, but Tariel was careful to help me over any logs or rocks in our way. When we finally broke out of the forest and onto the overlook, streaks of pink were just beginning to appear in the sky. Tauriel and I sat on a large rock and Legolas paced for a few moments before sitting on the ground at Tauriel's feet. "It's been so long since I've seen the sun rise," I commented to my friend beside me. 

"Legolas and I come out almost every morning," Tauriel told me. "Still its beauty is never dimmed." At this, her eyes glanced down at Legolas, who continued to gaze towards the East. " _Aa' amin?_ " Tauriel asked suddenly as her fingers touched Legolas's long hair.

" _Lle aa',_ " he replied as he sat up straighter. Tauriel then gathered some hair from behind his ear and carefully began to braid it. I smiled at how comfortable they were with one another. I had never had someone like that in my life. 

"When do you think the king will see Galadriel?" I asked tentatively. 

"Galadriel will not wait long." Tauriel laughed. "I believe your Haldir was more furious than she at the king's refusal last night." Legolas joined Tauriel in laughter and I smiled. "He was not happy," she continued.

"He never is," was Legolas's cheerful response. 

"What do you think Galadriel will require our king to do?" Tauriel asked as she turned towards me. "Will she force him to marry you?"

"No, she cannot do that," I said quickly. "Even if it is what she desires, I would not marry him."

"Then what can she ask for?" 

"I do not know."

" _En_." At Legolas's word, we both looked up as the sky seemed to explode with colors of orange, pink, and yellow. The sun was now able to be seen as it rose over the Lonely Mountain. A feeling of peace settled over me at the beauty of the sunrise. The forest now seemed to come alive with color and my excited eyes drank it all in. The light morning mist was lifted and the sun shone down on us freely. 

" _Vanima_ ," Tauriel breathed beside me. I turned to see her bright eyes full of joy at the sight before us. Legolas's eyes mirrored her own, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. And in this moment, we were all very calm and happy. No one could be worried or sad when looking at the beautiful sight before our eyes.

 

The sun steadily continued to rise as we made our way back to the large gates. As we slipped inside, the city was already awake and everywhere elves were rushing down one path or up another. Off to one side, I noticed Haldir speaking hurriedly to another member of the guard. As I looked at him, he noticed me and immediately pulled away from the soldier to make his way towards me. "Where have you been?" There was anger and frustration in his tone.

"I was watching the sunrise."

"We have been searching everywhere for you."

"I was with Tauriel. I was perfectly safe."

"But you didn't tell anyone where you were going." He sighed dramatically before looking back at me. "You must be more careful and inform your attendant before you leave."

"I didn't want to wake him."

"Then, next time, wait for him to wake before you leave." As Haldir spoke, I noticed a line of guards making their way up one of the paths towards the throne room. 

"Haldir," I asked suddenly. "When is Galadriel going to speak with the king?" 

"Right this moment. We waited to find you before we went up." He sighed again. "Now go back to your rooms and wait with Tegalad. I will come tell you what I can after their meeting." I didn't appreciate Haldir ordering me around, but I just huffed in frustration and started up the path to my apartments. Glancing behind me, I saw Legolas and Tauriel whispering to each other before they separated and Tauriel ran after me. 

"Do you wish to hear what will be said?"

"How?" I tried not to show too much excitement in my voice, but Tauriel knew how much I desired to overhear the conversation. 

"You know many places overlook the king's throne room. Quick, follow Legolas. You should not have to wait to hear what others have decided for your fate."

 

I followed Legolas as he ran up a rarely-used path that then led up a long staircase, then through a tunnel, before opening onto a flat path that overlooked the king's throne room. We crouched down by the low wall and peaked over at the scene below us. And there he was. Dressed in silver and red, Thranduil sat on his throne of antlers and wood. Even though we were high up, I could still see every outline of his face, down to the deep blue of his piercing gaze. He looked exactly as he always did - beautiful. My heart immediately sped up and I closed my eyes as I inhaled slowly, but with my eyes closed, all I could see were pictures - images of us together. I felt his hands on my skin, I felt his lips on my neck, and his body pressing against mine. I heard his voice whispering in my ear and I shuddered at the sound of the elvish love words. Forcing myself to open my eyes, I tore myself away from the pictures of us that I so despised, but still clung to. And there he was - just below me. I asked myself how I could have possibly gotten so far involved with him...but I knew that if he asked again, I had no way of saying no. And that hurt most of all. 

 

He was not the only one in the scene, for Galadriel stood before him, dressed in a radiant white lace gown, and Haldir stood just behind her. Galadriel was pacing bare-foot before the king's throne as Thranduil was speaking. "If you are referring to the child she carries, I am already aware of its existence. You did not think you could surprise me with this information, Lady Galadriel"

"Then perhaps you would have thought to take care of the problem earlier than this." Galadriel's eyes glanced towards the throne as she spoke.

"There is no problem that I see. She is no longer in my service."

"But she is still one of your people"

"And, as one of my people, I will grant her protection in my kingdom. That is my duty to my people."

"She carries your child, Thranduil. You cannot continue to push her away."

"I already have. She may take the child and raise it how she deems fit, she must simply remain silent about the child's father...or," Here he leaned forward with a cruel smile on his lips. "She could tell whoever she wishes. For who would believe that a commoner, such as herself, would ever be allowed into the king's chambers." As he settled back into his large throne, my eyes moved to Haldir, still standing silently behind Lady Galadriel. His jaw was now set and his eyes were burning with fire. I knew he wanted to speak, but could not. Galadriel had stopped her pacing and now turned towards Thranduil. 

"I wish you would take this situation seriously, Thranduil." Galadriel spoke with disgust. "You cannot continue to ignore her. You must place her in one of your best rooms and make sure she is given the best care while she carries the child. You must give her every thing she desires and spare no expense."

"You cannot expect me to simply acquiesce to your requests." He leaned forward again as he spoke in a mocking tone. "The girl already has a home and she can stay there. Let her relatives take care of her."

"This is your doing." Galadriel's voice suddenly boomed from her slender body and it sounded as if many voices were speaking to the stubborn king. "And you will take responsibility for what you have done." Thranduil seemed taken aback at this show of power, but was determined to not show weakness. He sat up straighter and was silent for a moment before speaking. 

"You cannot come here with some display of power, my lady, and expect me to do your bidding. I am still king of the Woodland Realm, not you, Lady Galadriel of Lorien."

"You are on the brink of war. You cannot afford for your people to mistrust you now."

"Are you resorting to threats?"

"The people already know that something is amiss. Take care of Aylariel and the rumors will go away." At this proposition, Thranduil seemed thoughtful.

"If you wish it, she may stay in the East corner." He referred to a small section of the Woodland Realm that was farthest from the gates.

"And she will be taken care of?" Galadriel was determined to get exactly what she had asked for. 

"I will send her attendants. Is that all you wish?" The last few words were spat in the direction of the Lady of Light. Again, Haldir grew stiff and his fingers moved to the hilt of a knife at his belt. Thranduil's eyes no-doubt noticed this, for the next sound was his laughter. "You may have traveled far for this business, Lady Galadriel, but I'm sure your captain would have been able to handle this matter himself."

"And what will you do about the other girl - your young queen?" Galadriel ignored his last comment and continued speaking. 

"I grow tired of her. She will be taken care of." At his words, Galadriel's countenance grew serious again, provoking another round of laughter from Thranduil. "She is safe. She will be returned to her parents."

"This cannot happen again, Thranduil." Galadriel took one step towards him. "Keep your word about Aylariel." She then turned and walked down the steps that led to the throne room. Haldir turned and followed, not even offering the king another glance. 

 

I hurried back to my rooms and just barely beat Haldir there. Tegalad was seated with a book on one of the couches and I gave him an apologetic look before sitting down beside him. "Where have you been?" He asked, closing his book. I heard the worry in his voice and immediately felt sorry I hadn't informed him where I was going that morning. 

"I was with Tauriel, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you to wake." He gave me a small nod, but I continued on. "And if Haldir asks, I've been here for the past hour."

"My lady?" But I didn't have time to answer, for the door opened and Haldir entered. 

"What did he say?" Although I already knew what had been said, I was interested to hear how Haldir would put it. 

"You're being moved to the Eastern corner. You will be taken care of." He spoke with no emotion before turning towards the door, but I called out his name and stopped him. I slowly stood.

"What is wrong?" At my question, he turned around and his eyes found mine. His seemed full of anger and a sort of sadness. 

"The king should have done more." Then he left, closing the door behind him. I paused for a moment, as my mind comprehended his words. Done more? Haldir was the one person who I felt understood my situation better than anyone else, and he thought the king should have done more. It was then I realized that there was only one thing I wanted from the king, and it wasn't something Galadriel had asked for. I suddenly lurched towards the door and pulled it open, running out onto the path to see Haldir headed towards Galadriel's quarters. 

"Haldir!" He turned around and I ran up to him. "I..." Haldir looked at me questioningly and the thoughts formed in my head quickly. "I want to see him."

"What?" He looked startled. 

"I want to see Thranduil."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aa' amin?: May I?  
> Lle aa': You may  
> En: Look  
> Vanima: Beautiful


	10. Namaarie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter's a little shorter, but I like where it ended, so I'm sorry guys! Hopefully you all enjoy it! Also, I added a few new lines to the part that I previewed yesterday so look for that :)  
> Also, this is the dress I imagine her wearing when she goes to see Thranduil: https://33.media.tumblr.com/ea1257db6e12ddeef112454f066adbec/tumblr_nhrgwiqXlg1r1fpeto1_1280.jpg  
> You could kill a man in that dress.  
> Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments <3 love you all xoxo

With each step, my legs felt heavier. It got harder and harder to take that next step. I was scared - no - I was terrified. Haldir had said that he wouldn't let me come unless I let him go with me, so I had said he could. But I couldn't let him come. I couldn't have him there when I said what I needed to to Thranduil. So I told Haldir I'd speak to Thranduil the next day, then, after Haldir had left me, I began the long walk up to Thranduil's throne...alone. He was speaking to someone, I could hear his voice echoing through the trees as I climbed the winding stairs. When I reached the top, I only had to walk across a thin bridge, then I'd be before him. I slowly walked forward, my eyes rising to the throne, but it was empty now. Thranduil was standing with his back towards me, at the edge of the platform, as he spoke to a guard behind him. It seemed like an age had passed by the time I finally reached the bottom of the steps to the platform where he stood and began to climb. At the top, the two guards suddenly stepped together, forcing me to halt. Thranduil's voice suddenly paused, but he did not turn around. The guards began to push me back, opening their mouths to tell me I didn't belong here, when a loud voice rang out. 

" _Tampa!_ " The guards immediately froze at the sound of their king's command. " _Mani uma lle merna?_ "

"Only an audience with my king." I forced myself to keep my voice steady, but the last word still wavered. 

" _Auta lye_ ," was the calm response. The guards immediately fell into a line then filed by me, leaving me alone with the king of the Woodland Realm. It had all happened so quickly and...now I stood alone with the one who had hurt me the most. " _Nae saian luume'_." He slowly turned, bringing me face-to-face with my king. "Is there something you wanted that Galadriel failed to bargain for?" His cold eyes examined me with curiosity and superiority. 

"What you gave me was only to satisfy your people." I tried to keep myself calm and not explode with the rage I held in my chest. 

"And you are one of my people. I did it to satisfy you."

"To keep me quiet."

"You have nothing to say." He pushed his robes behind him as he took a step towards me. "For no one would listen."

"You must fear my speaking the truth."

"Fear?" His eyebrows raised in surprised before he took the remaining steps forward so he towered just in front of me. "I do not fear a simple florist's stories." He spoke condescendingly. I opened my mouth to reply, then shut it, not wishing to spend the little time I would have arguing. "Why are you here alone? Where is this Haldir of Lorien who has grown so fond of you?" At these words, my eyes widened and the corners of Thanduil's lips turned up slightly in a sort of cruel smile. "Yes, I know of the captain of Lorien. You should have brought him here to defend you as you cannot do so for yourself." He turned, now beginning to walk up the steps that led him to his grand throne. "What is it you want, Aylariel?" I was silent for a moment, my mind still reeling from the words he had just spoken. He knew of Haldir. And he had said that Haldir was fond of me. And he was right...he was right that I couldn't defend myself. Not to him. Not ever. And as my eyes ran over his form as he reached the top of the steps, new anger rushed through my body and I remembered the reason why I now stood before him.

"I want," my voice started loud as I began my rehearsed speech, so I paused to start again. "I want your apology," I spoke with confidence. "I want you to say that you were wrong...and you're sorry." Thranduil was now sitting on his throne, his eyes looking at me with no emotion. There was silence, then uproarious laughter. 

 

"Where were you?" Haldir spun around to face me as I entered my apartments. When I didn't reply right away, he stepped towards me, his eyes full of anger. "Where. Were. You?"

"I had to see him alone." The words came out in a rush and I watched Haldir's eyes widen, then fill with sheer panic. He opened his mouth to reprimand me, but then he closed it. He looked at me for a moment, the panic in his eyes changing to disappointment, which was a thousand times worse to see. Then he walked around me and left, the door closing gently behind him. He left me standing alone in the middle of the room. I stood in silence, then the tears started and I fell to my knees, sobbing.

 

I stayed in bed almost the whole next day, sitting up only for the meals that were brought to me. I felt sick and the events of the day before had made my spirits very low. Haldir did not come to me, though Tegalad stayed by my side for most of the afternoon. He told me stories of his travels, or read to me from large books I had never seen before. When evening began to settle in, I climbed out of my bed and pulled on my silk robe before slipping out into the fresh air. There was no activity in this part of the realm as darkness slowly fell, only a few guards walking down to take the night shift guarding the gate. I shivered slightly and pulled the robe tighter around my body. I saw the last flickers of sunlight slowly fade, then, all of a sudden, light seemed to reverse, making the forest bright again. I looked around for this strange light source, and saw Lady Galadriel slowly making her way down the path, the forest glowing around her. Her bare feet made no sound on the dirt path and her fingers were brushing the green plants as she walked past them. As she neared me, her head turned and her eyes fell on me. She smiled, moving her hands now in front of her and folding them gently as she paused before me. "Good evening, Aylariel. Are you feeling well?"

"Better, thank you." I pulled smile across my face, but I knew she could tell how I was feeling without asking. 

"Haldir tells me of your visit to the king." Haldir didn't have to tell her, for she would know already. "He was very worried about you."

"He disapproved of me going alone."

"And did you get what you wanted?" Galadriel's smile had now faded and her eyes were looking intently into mine. 

"I wanted his apology..." It sounded almost silly now. "I just wanted him to say he had been wrong...and I wanted him to know that I wanted him to say it."

"The king is not in the habit of giving apologies."

"I know." My words came out as almost a whisper.

"Though he may not feel now that what he did was wrong, Aylariel, he will one day." She took a step back and turned, reaching out to brush her fingers against the leaves of a large fern growing along the path. "And one day, you may realize what another has already seen." She turned her head just slightly towards me. "That you are more than a girl who served the king." She now straightened, turning aagin to me. "I am returning to Lorien tomorrow. I am leaving Haldir to care for you for a while. He will get you anything you may require and will inform me if Thranduil goes back on his word." A smile reappeared on the Lady's face as she stepped towards me. "This next part of your life will change you greatly, Aylariel, but it will change you for the better. Do not resist it." She then leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to my forehead. "Farewell, Aylariel of Mirkwood. We will meet again in better times." Then she continued on her walk down the path, her fingers again reaching out to meet the various plants along it. I watched her leave, my worried mind now calm and peaceful. I wanted to thank her for everything she had done on my behalf, far more than I deserved from the Lady of Lorien, but I felt that she already knew what I would say. So I just watched her leave in silence. 

 

The next morning brought a very tearful farewell to Tegalad, as he was leaving with Lady Galadriel for Lorien. I held his hands tightly in mine and thanked him for his service as my eyes overflowed with tears. " _Aman tel' sandarine,_ " He spoke before pressing my fingers to his lips.

" _Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au'_." 

" _Lissen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva._ " He bowed his head respectfully, then released my hands before mounting his horse. " _Namaarie_ , my lady."

" _Namaarie,_ Tegalad _"_ I replied, stepping back. He gave me a smile as all the other elves mounted around him, then there they all were, riding out of the great gates and out into Mirkwood forest. And I was left behind again. I brushed the remaining tears from my cheeks as Tauriel gave the order for the gates to be closed. Then, I saw movement from the corner of my eye and Haldir stepped to my side. 

"It is not often that my lady requires me to stay behind. I hope my time here will not be wasteful." He said it so coldly that I turned to look at him in sad surprise. 

"Do you think you are wasting your time here?"

"I do not know." He turned to look at me. "Do you wish me here, Aylariel?" Though his voice spoke with no warmth, there was no coldness in his eyes. 

"I do wish you here," I said quietly. "I wish you here very much."

"Then my time shall not be wasted." A small smile appeared on his lips, but only for a brief moment. "Now come, we must see to your quarters in the East corner." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tampa!: Stop!  
> Mani uma lle merna?: What do you want?  
> Auta lye: Leave us  
> Nae saian luume': It has been too long  
> Aman tel' sandarine: Elvish blessing  
> Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au': My heart shall weep until it sees thee again  
> Lissen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva.: Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet  
> Namaarie: Farwell


	11. Sant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter just flowed very easily so I hope you all enjoy it!

"What did he say?" Tauriel was quick to question me as I explained what had happened when I went to Thranduil.

"He laughed at me."

"Oh, Aylariel...I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be...I knew he wouldn't say it."

 

My new apartments in the East corner were small, though I could not complain much about them. They sat in a large tree, at the top of a long staircase that wound around the thick trunk. Haldir's apartments were below mine, on the forest floor. We had only been situated for a few days when Haldir ordered a small plot of land cleared behind his chambers. I watched from my balcony as he instructed the two elf workers. His eyes drifted up to where I stood and he watched me for a moment, as I stood leaning over the railing. He seemed to take me all in before turning back to the work in front of him. I watched them work until twilight set upon us and he announced that they were finished. I then went back into my apartments and sat on my couch, picking up the book I had started the night before. After settling the skirts of my white gown around me, I leaned back to again engross myself in the stories of my ancestors. The sounds of the battles described and the feel of the ground, wet with blood, were just beginning to reach my senses when I was disturbed by a knock at my door. I looked up from the gruesome tale and called for whoever had knocked to enter. The door was pushed open and Haldir entered. 

"Can I show you what I have done today?"

"Of course." I set aside my book and rose to my feet. At the door, he offered me his hand and I gently took it, smiling as I did so. He slowly led me down the steps, past the entrance to his quarters, and around to the plot of land he had cleared today. "What is it for?" I asked as we stopped before it.

"I cleared this land for your garden."

"Garden?" Instantly, tears sprang to my eyes as I realized Haldir's thoughtfulness. I took a tentative step forward, letting my fingers slid away from the captain's as I surveyed the ground before me. "You did this...for me?" 

"Many things have changed in your life of late, Aylariel. I thought you should get back to your roses."

" _Diola lle, Haldir. Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin._ " My tears blurred my vision and I wiped my eyes so I could continue to drink in the sight of the land before me. The land that was all for my use. 

"It was my pleasure." I heard his step behind me and I turned to look into his face. A small smile was now on his lips and his eyes were locked with mine. He had always made me happy and made sure I had everything I ever wanted, and now he had given me the best gift he could have. He had given me a chance to go back to the life I should have had. I stepped closer to him and leaned my head against his neck and shoulder, my back now against his chest. He paused a moment before he gently moved his fingers to my side and held me as I closed my eyes, letting my tears of gratitude fall silently. I could never repay him for all he had done. 

 

Our life in the Eastern corner was quiet. Not many came to disturb us. Fall was now fully upon us and I worked in my garden in the cooler weather, planting perennials that would bloom in spring. I shivered now, as I had again forgotten to bring my cloak. Often I would start working in the heat of the noon-day sun, and would forget to bring a cloak for the cooler weather that would come as the day progressed. Looking around me, I saw that my work for the day was almost done and continued on, choosing not to run up to my rooms for a covering. The cool dirt felt so good against my fingers as I worked carefully, turning it over then making room for the blue asters I was now planting. As I pushed the seeds into the ground, I felt a cloak settling around my shoulders, then two strong hands grasping my upper arms. "Thank you," I smiled as I turned to see Haldir crouched beside me. 

"You must not forget to stay warm."

"I am almost done here, then I would have come up."

"Still," he tilted his head reprovingly. "Are you almost done planting what I got you a few days ago?" His eyes scanned the plot of land, now dotted with piles of dirt where I had planted my seeds.

"I just have the asters left, then I will need more."

"Then we should get more before it gets dark. Here, let me help you finish these."

 

After we were done planting, I changed into a cleaner gown, then we headed off to buy more flower seeds at the market near the center of the forest. My hand gripped Haldir's arm and I pulled my cloak around me so it would hide how large my stomach had become. "Do not be afraid what they will think of you," Haldir whispered as his head leaned down next to mine. I tried to offer him a smile, but my fast-beating heart prevented me from meaning it. I rarely ventured out of the Eastern corner, and every time I did I was nervous that I would be discovered. Nothing could give away my past, but still I worried. My grip on Haldir's arm tightened as we stepped out from the protection of the trees and into the busy marketplace. Haldir led me carefully through the people and over to a beautiful elf who stood by a cart filled with flowers. 

" _Vedui, Haldir!_  What are you looking for today?" The girl cheerfully greeted my companion. 

" _Vedui, Merima._ This is Aylariel, and she needs seeds for her garden."

"So this is the little elf you have been buying flowers for. What would you like to plant, Aylariel?" She now turned her beaming smile on me. 

"I would like to plant geraniums," I said softly, suddenly becoming shy.

"Ahh yes, fall is the time for those flowers," she said gaily before turning to a basket behind her to find the seeds. I took a moment to examine her from her flowing blonde curls, down her lavender gown, to her silver slippers. She was very beautiful and immediately made me self-conscious about my own appearance. I again tugged at my cloak to make sure I appeared as skinny as I could, and as I did I felt Halir's reassuring hand rest on my back. I exhaled, trying to stop comparing myself to the beauty of others. I was pregnant and she was not. By now, Merima had turned back around and was holding a small bag out to me. I took it from her hands, thanking her. 

"You're welcome! I'll have to come see your garden when it blooms in the spring." Her face never stopped smiling as I nodded shyly. Haldir also thanked her for the seeds as he held out a few coins, which she took from him. 

"Farewell." Haldir gave her a slight bow before turning and leading me again through the groups of people. I held tightly to him, trying to avoid meeting anyone's eyes, when a young girl caught my attention. She was in a simple brown dress and cloak as she carried a basket through the market. My eyes followed her for a moment as my mind tried to remind me where I had seen her before. Then I knew. 

"Haldir!" I whispered frantically, as I pulled him to a stop. My eyes went back to the girl as she began to fill her basket with bread and cheese. "That girl...she was Thranduil's queen."

 

"I just don't understand how he can do that." I pulled off my cloak then sank onto my couch, sighing. The king should not be allowed to use whomever he wishes then just throw them away. My heart ached for the young girl who had been treated as I had.

"He returned her to her parents, which is more than he did for you." Haldir was now pulling off his own cloak and hanging it by the door. 

"But he must have hurt her...she stayed with him then...then he just..." My breathing became heavier as the pain from the rejection I had faced began to return. 

"Aylariel," Haldir's voice was gentle. "You cannot bear pain on her account. I have made inquiries of her before and have heard that she is doing quite well. She was not as damaged as..." But here he stopped. I knew what he was going to say...and it was true. I had been terribly damaged by the king, and I would forever be broken because of him. The pain in my chest had not ceased, and now, because of my distress, pain began in my stomach. I pressed my hands against my belly as I inhaled sharply. The discomfort did not last long, and I did what I could to pull my mind from the sad news of the day. And then...a movement. I gasped, sitting up straighter, as I moved my hands over my stomach. There it was again, a small kick. 

"Haldir!" I reached for his hand, which he gave to me, and I pressed it against my stomach. My eyes went to his face and I watched as his look turned from curiosity, to joy. He made a loud exclamation as he fell to his knees, moving both his hands to my stomach. I placed my hands over his as happiness replaced the pain in my heart. My child embodied all the hope I had for the future, for when my child was born, I would never again be alone, and I would be able to love my child with all my heart and it would not give me pain. Haldir raised his face to mine and I saw the happiness in my eyes mirrored in his. 

"Fate has blessed you, Aylariel." His voice was full of joy and I nodded in agreement. 

"I am so happy." And with this declaration, tears began to roll down my cheeks and I laughed at their absurdity. Haldir moved to the couch beside me and brushed the tears off of my cheeks before moving his hands to either side of my face, holding me gently. 

"I am happy too." Then he was kissing me. I moved my hands to his wrists, holding him tightly as I kissed him back. He pulled me against him and didn't let go, pouring all his emotion into this one moment. We sat together on that couch, our lips moving seamlessly over each other's. And we didn't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sant: Garden  
> Diola lle, Haldir. Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin: Thank you, Haldir. I shall treasure your gift in my heart.  
> Vedui, Haldir!: Greetings, Haldir!  
> Vedui, Merima: Greetings, Merima (meaning: free)  
> \----  
> There you go, lots of fluff for ya'll :). This chapter could have also been appropriately named, The Calm Before The Storm.


	12. Lle naa amin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I didn't think this chapter would be done tonight, but it is! Woo hoo! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

_"Do I not please you tonight, my lord?" I ran my hands over my new dress after Thranduil had surveyed me then turned back to the scroll he held._

_"You please me fine, Aylariel. I'm simply busy." He spoke in a bored tone._

_"I'm sorry, my lord." I gave a small curtsy then turned to go._

_"Wait." I heard him sigh and turned around to see him put down his scroll then lean back in his chair, his eyes now looking at me intently. "The red looks good on you."_

_"Thank you." I smiled, taking a step towards him._

_"Come closer," he ordered. I obeyed, walking slowly and stopping just before him. "Turn around." Again, I did what he asked, turning around so my back was to him. As I did, he stood. I felt his fingers gather my hair then move it in front of my shoulder. I tilted my head down slightly as his hands began at the laces on my dresses. When he had loosened them all, he slowly slid the red gown off of my shoulders and let it drop to the floor. He then started on the laces for my corset. Slowly, he undressed me, one by one letting the articles of clothing fall to the floor. When he was finished, I felt his lips move to my neck as his hands went to my hips, then around to my stomach before running up my chest. He kissed me as his smooth fingers ran over my skin. "Lle naa amin." Then suddenly his hands were rough as he spun me around to face him before meeting my lips harshly with his. He held me tightly against him and I could feel his harsh desire for me. He wanted me and somehow that made me feel like I was enough._

I gasped at the dream as I sat up quickly, finding myself between the silk sheets of my new bed. Morning was still far away. Darkness still ran through the forest and all was silent. "No." I whispered to myself as I shook my head before pressing my palms to either side of it. And now I was shaking, terrified of the memory that had haunted my dream. I sat there for a few moments, trying to calm my racing heart. But now, a sickening feeling had grown inside me and all I could think of was him. I felt exposed as every memory of Thranduil's hands against my body crowded into my head. I wanted to scream as scene after scene of his body pressed against mine appeared in my mind. I collapsed against my bed and my body began to convulse with sobs, though no tears came to my eyes. I pulled myself into a ball and tried to still my shaking body. I tried to think of what could have brought on such an episode, when Thranduil was no longer a usual in my dreams. Then the image of Haldir appeared in my mind and I felt his lips against mine again. It was such a sweet taste, but I payed a bitter price for my feelings. Thranduil would not give me peace if I loved another. I was the king's whore. And I felt like I always would be.

 

I could not sleep any more that night. Just before sunrise, I left a note for Haldir, then crept out of my rooms and ran down the path towards the gate. I reached it just as Tauriel was going out. She noticed me and motioned for me to follow her. So, again, I followed her and Legolas down the forest paths to the overlook where we had seen the sun rise many weeks ago. Legolas didn't acknowledge me now and I couldn't blame him when it was now very obvious that I was carrying his father's child. Tauriel slid an arm around my waist as we sat to watch the sun rise over the Lonely Mountain. "I have missed you,  _mellonamin_." She leaned her pretty head against mine as the first streaks of color stretched across the sky. "How are you?"

"I am well enough, Tauriel, though I have missed you much also." I gave her a small smile. 

"Is it true you now have a garden?"

"Yes." I tried not to blush. "Haldir had an area of land cleared so I could plant some flowers."

"Ah yes, the captain of Lorien is very good to you, is he not?" Tauriel turned to give me a knowing smile, which made it now impossible for my face to stay a normal color. 

"He is very good."

"Tell me, have you grown to care for him very much?"

"I...I do care for Haldir." At this, I noticed Legolas, who sat on the other side of Tauriel, tighten his jaw. "I just don't know if it could be anything but an infatuation." He relaxed slightly, but I could see the displeasure in his face.

"But he cares for you too, does he not?"

"Yes." My eyes fell to my lap. "I believe he does care for me...but because of what happened before...nobody could love me after that, Tauriel. I have already been...and nobody..." I did not mean this conversation to go this way and I bit my lip to keep from crying. I had done enough of that.

"Aylariel..." Tauriel now spoke softly. "You know that I love you in spite of what you have done...and I know that I am not the only one capable of that."

"You are too good to me, Tauriel." I gave a sad laugh as I turned to smile at her. Legolas now stood and walked a few paces away from us and into the trees. I appreciated the privacy he gave us, but I did not wish to displease the prince. 

"Do not mind Legolas." Tauriel sighed as she looked after him. "He does not approve of all his father has done. You remind him of what his father is...as you do for all of us."

"And...and that is why I cannot be with Haldir." The tears I had desperately been trying to hold back now sprang to my eyes. "I can never be free of Thranduil's curse."

"No!" Tauriel grabbed both of my hands tightly as she looked into my eyes. "I did not mean it like that! Justice was never served for you, Aylariel, and every time I see you, it reminds me that not all in this world are good like you." She gave me a smile, but the truth behind her words still pained me. Everyone who knew me would always associate me with the king. "Do not be sad." Tauriel kissed my forehead gently and gave me another smile. "I am sorry I spoke as I did."

"You have only spoken the truth, Tauriel, and none can fault you for that." I forced a smile before slowly rising to my feet. The sun was now mostly risen and golden streaks decorated the morning sky. "I must return before Haldir worries. Farewell, my friend." I stepped away from her then turned to re-trace my steps back to the gates. After I had entered the forest again, I heard voices and turned to see that Legolas had rejoined Tauriel. I was mostly hidden by the trees, but I could see them clearly as they stood together on the overlook. Legolas was making harsh motions as he talked to his companion and Tauriel was speaking calmly. I saw him sigh and hang his head as his arms dropped to his sides. Tauriel stepped towards him, running her fingers down his arms to his hands as her forehead leaned gently against his. They stood in this still, intimate pose for a few moments as Tauriel's lips moved slowly. I saw Legolas lace his fingers through hers, then he slowly began to turn his head. Tauriel exhaled slowly, then, as his lips met hers, I watched her return the young prince's kiss. It looked so gentle, so innocent, as they held that one moment together. That one moment was all I wanted. With no worry of a child on the way or a king's wrath. Their love was a thing of pure beauty. I turned away, resuming my walk towards the gates as my thoughts again consumed me. I knew Haldir cared for me, but for how long? No one could ever truly love a whore. 

 

When I entered my rooms again, I found Haldir pacing back and forth frantically. "What's...going on?" 

"He cannot do this." He spoke quickly.

"Who...what has the king done?" At my question, Haldir suddenly stopped and turned towards me. The look in his eyes turned to sadness as he surveyed me.

"He cannot do this to you, Aylariel."

"What? What has he done?"

"He's forcing us to leave."

"Leave?" The word came out as almost a yell. Haldir reached for a scroll on the table and held it out to me. I snatched it from his hand before slowly unrolling it and reading the elvish written on it. It was true. The scroll called for Haldir and I to leave the Woodland Realm immediately. The scroll fell from my fingers as I turned and darted out the door. I heard Haldir yelling my name after me, but I didn't stop. I ran down the stairs then along the paths in the direction of the throne room. He would not do this to me. He would not.

 

"You cannot force me to leave." My voice was strong and commanding as I climbed the steps to the throne room where Thranduil was standing.

" _Quel amrun, Aylariel_."

"You will not break your word to Galadriel," I continued, ignoring his fake pleasantries.

"When I spoke to Galadriel, you were a poor, defenseless girl in need of my help." Thranduil's voice stayed calm as he slowly turned to look at me. "Now it seems you have found someone better to care for you, so you are no longer in need of my assistance."

"Haldir? Is that who this is about? Haldir?" I advanced towards him, but he did not move. 

"Your captain is more than capable of caring for you outside of my realm. Perhaps he could take you to Lorien."

"I am your responsibility. You made me helpless and you will not withdraw your help now."

"If you wish it. If the captain will leave for Lorien this very day, making you again a helpless subject of mine, I shall allow you to stay." He pushed his robes aside and walked to one edge of the platform. My mouth now dropped open and I stood staring after him.

"You're...you're jealous of Haldir." My words came out as almost a laugh. He did not flinch. "You can't bear to see me with anyone but yourself, can you, your highness?"

"I told you once that you belonged to me, Aylariel. I don't remember telling you that had changed."

"You can't own me!" I yelled the words in his direction and this time, I got a reaction. He turned, his eyes widening in fury. 

"Regardless of your feelings, Aylariel, I am still your king and you will speak to me with respect."

"Respect?" I spat his word back at him. "What has my king ever done that is worthy of my respect?"

"I warn you, Aylariel-"

"There's nothing else you can do to me, o' great king!" My loud words were now combined with laughter. Thranduil suddenly stepped towards me,  his long strides taking him before me, but I continued on. "When will you be happy? You have already destroyed everything that I held dear! What else can you take from me?" Then Thranduil's hand was at my throat, his fingers grasping just below my jaw. I gasped for air, my eyes widening as my hands grasped at his.

"You will not talk in this way." His eyes were burning with fire and I felt his hand tighten. " _Lle naa tel' aran feliken_. Nothing more." Then he threw me backwards, down the steps that led to the throne room. When I hit the ground, all I could feel was pain, all over my body. Darkness began to consume me, but before I blacked out, all I saw was blood. Blood everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lle naa amin: You are mine  
> Mellonamin: My friend  
> Quel amrun, Aylariel: Good morning, Aylariel  
> Lle naa tel' aran feliken: You are the king's whore


	13. Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read on, I'd like to just point out a few differences between this chapter and the others. You'll notice that the title is in English, not elvish, in fact there is no elvish in this chapter and that just helps distinguish it. This chapter is shorter than the others and when you read it, you'll see why. Also, this chapter is not told from Aylariel's pov, as all the others are. This one is written from Thranduil's pov and will be the only one of its kind.  
> With that said, thank you for all your wonderful comments on the last chapter and I hope you find as much satisfaction in this one.  
> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: There is a sentence about self-harm. Stay safe.

I stood in the middle of the floor. My long robes felt heavy on my shoulders and my blank eyes stared forward at nothing. All senses of emotion and feeling seemed to have left me, leaving me only as an empty shell. I was unable to think and the only image in my mind was of her. Laying at the bottom of the stairs covered in blood. And I had done that to her. 

 

Her.

 

Behind me, I heard the soft creak of the door opening. Soft footsteps entered the room, then I heard the voice of one of my guards. "My lord?"

"How is she?"

"She will live, your majesty."

"And...the child?"

"The boy is dead, my lord." All air left my body. I wanted to collapse, but I could not move. Not even to fall. "But...the girl." Only the faintest comprehension of his words still remained. My head slowly turned, but only slightly. I remained silent for a long time before I managed out one word.

"Girl?"

"There were two, my lord. The boy is dead, but...but the girl lives." I opened my mouth again, but no words could come out. Slowly, the feelings and emotions were settling back upon me and as they did, I wished they had never returned. For all I felt was pain. I inhaled, only to give me the air to say the two words I needed. 

"Leave me." And he was gone, the door closing silently behind him. 

 

And I was alone.

 

Darkness was beginning to engulf me as feeling again entered my body. From the tips of my fingers up into my head, all I felt was pain of every kind. And I could not bear it. I fell to my knees, taking long gasps of air as I tried to reduce anything I was feeling. I wished myself dead. But then I was angry. And my anger could only be towards one. 

 

Me.

 

Suddenly, a horrific scream tore through my body and I threw back my head as the loud sound shook my room. I pulled myself to my feet and shoved everything off of the nearest table, smashing the glasses and pitchers to pieces on the floor. I rushed to the shelves in my room, pushing off every trinket and book as another yell escaped my body. I dug my fingers into the couch and chairs, ripping off pieces of fabric and the upholstery beneath. Everything within my grasp was smashed to the floor and when the pain did not subside I fell to my knees, grasping the broken shards and slicing them into my skin, wanting only relief from the pain inside. The blood rushed out freely, but nothing could subside what I felt inside. I ripped off my long robes, letting them fall in bloody pieces onto the floor. Then I turned and saw it.

 

The bed.

 

The bed where we had slept together. Another surge of anger rushed through my body and I threw myself towards it, grasping the white coverings and tearing them off. I ripped into the pillows and threw them to the ground in shreds before my hands tore into the mattress. My hands began to ache, then scream in pain, but nothing could compare to the pain in my chest at what I had done. I had killed my child. 

 

My son.

 

And nothing could ever take away that pain. I threw myself against the supports for the bed, trying to break them down, but when I saw that was futile, I grabbed a chair and smashed it against the tall, wooden support that reached up into the ceiling. The support began to give and I did not let up until it was crumbling to the ground. I did the same to the other supports, hacking them to pieces. Another scream broke my silence and I reached up to grab the crown from my head. And there it was in my hand, bloodied and worthless. I threw it to the ground before I collapsed to my knees among my handiwork - pieces of glass, wood, and cloth. And it was there my body began to shake and I leaned forward until my head touched the ground. It was only then that the tears came...and soon...I was sobbing.


	14. Lothiriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this wasn't up last night! I just couldn't finish it - I needed sleep, but here it is!  
> This story was never meant to be very long so we are very close to the end now. I'm thinking another chapter then the 'afterward' probably...unless I randomly come up with another idea. Gah, I don't want to stop writing for you guys though! You have all made me so incredibly happy :) thank you!

I did not leave my bed for many days. The tears could not come, so I would just stare into nothingness, or fall into a restless sleep. The only dreams I had were of falling. Over and over and over again, I fell. And I woke up each time I hit the ground, but not before I saw the blood. The blood that meant my son was dead. Elvish melodies would float through my window to meet my ears, but I found no comfort in them. Usually, whenever an elf died, the elvish songs would be of mourning and sadness, but my child was not mourned over, for no one knew that he had ever lived. Haldir was there. He was always there, though he would not come close unless I asked him to. I never asked him to. He only made me get out of my bed once and that was so we could bury my still-born child just outside of the walls. His strong arms had to hold me up so I could stand during the small ceremony. Only a few words were whispered, then the small box was lowered into the ground and covered with dirt. Haldir had had a stone, roughly the size of the burial plot, made and had asked me what name I wished him to put on it. I gave him the name Meldarion. It meant beloved. Then, as he had turned to leave, I caught his hand and told him to put my son's full name. Meldarion Thranduilion. Anyone who came across his grave would know that he had been the son of the king. My child would not be buried without a father. After the burial, Haldir helped me back to my apartments and to my bed. Still the tears would not come. There was only a hushed stillness that was a thousand times worse. It was the same stillness that had settled on me after I had been rejected in Lorien. I would have let it overtake me, I would have let it kill me....but I couldn't. I couldn't for one reason. My daughter.

 

My daughter was kept under close supervision for many days following her unplanned birth. Her health was frail, but I was told that the doctors were doing everything they could to keep her alive. And she was strong. They brought her to me one day and the elven nurse stood by my bed, cradling my tiny daughter in her arms. I watched her as her small arms moved while she slept. She was absolutely beautiful. The nurse offered to let me hold her, but I shook my head. I felt that if I touched her, she too would slip away from me. So they took her away again with the promise to bring her the next day. And so they brought her every day, and I would just watch her as she slowly made improvements. 

 

I could not continue on in this way for long. So one day I had to make myself sit up and stop laying still and silent. I called in an attendant to help me dress, then I sat on my bed with a book, trying desperately to read, just so I was doing something. The elven nurse that would come in to see me once or twice a day was pleasantly surprised to find me sitting up today. "Are you feeling better?" She asked kindly. I nodded, trying to make myself smile, even if only a little. "Can I get you anything?" Her smooth hands felt my forehead as her eyes examined my face. 

"No, thank you."

"They're ready to bring your baby in, if you want them to."

"Yes, please." Instantly a real smile appeared on my face.

"Then I'll tell them it's alright." She stepped away from the bed and towards the door. "Oh, and Captain Haldir is here, if you will see him."

"He may come in."

"Alright, my lady." She gave me a slight curtsy, then disappeared into the hallway. It was only a moment before she was replaced my Haldir.

"You look so well today." He was practically beaming at me and I gave him a small smile as he hovered in the doorway. 

"And how are you, Haldir?"

"Oh, I am well." He gave me a small nod, then was forced to stand aside as another nurse walked in, cradling my baby. 

" _Quel amrun_." The young elf gave a low curtsy before approaching the bed. She sat in the chair just by my side and I looked down into my daughter's face. Today, her blue eyes were open and I could see wisps of blond hair on her small head. 

"How is she doing?"

"Very well," The nurse smiled at the baby in her arms. "She is ready to be moved into your apartments if you wish."

"That might be very nice." I still refrained from touching my child, but I could not take my eyes off of her. "Haldir?"

"Yes, my lady?" Immediately he was at the foot of the bed. 

"What do you think?"

"About your child being moved here?"

"Here," I motioned towards the nurse at my side as I spoke to him. "Will you take my daughter and sit beside me?"

"You...want me to hold her?"

"Would you?" I brought my eyes off of my daughter long enough to look at the hesitant captain. Every emotion seemed to rush through his eyes in that one moment our gazes met, then he stepped towards the nurse who had already risen from her seat. She placed the tiny baby in his arms and I heard him inhale sharply as he adjusted her in his large arms. 

"I will come back and get her when you are finished." The nurse gave another curtsy then left the room. Haldir slowly settled into the seat by my side, sitting very still with my daughter cradled by his chest. 

"Don't be nervous, you'll be fine." I reassured him, resting my fingers on his arm for a moment. 

"She looks just like..." I knew Haldir's nerves had gotten the better of him and he didn't mean to say that, but it was true.

"She does look just like her father," I finished for him. 

"But she's all yours." Haldir turned his dark eyes to mine. I smiled slightly, then looked again at my little girl. Her bright eyes were beginning to close and as they did, I slowly reached out and her small fingers grasped mine. I let her hold onto me for a moment, but as sleep overcame her, I let her hand fall to her chest. As I drew my hand back, Haldir caught it and brought it to his lips. "I think we must talk about the future."

"The future?" I gave a light laugh before setting my hands in my lap. "I do not wish to think about the future now. That is a conversation for another day."

"Alright," he nodded. "Then," he glanced down at the sleeping child in his arms. "Can I ask her name?"

"I was thinking of naming her Lothiriel."

"Lothiriel?" A smile spread across his face. "You're going to name her 'flower'?"

"I think it fits her," I returned his smile. "I love my gardens, but she will always be my flower."

 

I put off any talk of the future for as long as I could. I didn't want to face the fact that things may have to change, but as Lothiriel steadily grew stronger, the silence on this subject couldn't be kept. Haldir and I hadn't spoken about us, or whether or not there was an us, and I was afraid to talk of that too. I didn't know if I wanted to be with him...because if we did decide to be together, we would marry and be tied together forever. And I was scared of forever...but he wasn't. He would show in the little gestures he did, like placing his hand on my back or not looking away first when our eyes met, that he wanted there to be something between us. And that only made me more frightened. He was patient, but even he couldn't wait forever. 

 

It was evening. My daughter, who had moved into my apartments, was now sleeping in her cradle by my bed, so I wandered out onto the balcony. The last streaks of sunlight were disappearing and the trees were just becoming alight with lanterns. Elvish songs, though soft, were being sung and floated towards me from the center of the realm. Tonight they were cheerful, though calm. Winter had settled on us and though our realm was snug, the chilly air still found a way in. I had remembered my cloak and I pulled it tightly around me to keep warm. As I stood there, I felt a hand on my lower back and turned to see Haldir stepping beside me. " _Quel undome_ ," he said quietly as he greeted me with a smile.

" _Quel undome_ ," I replied.

"Are you warm enough?" Haldir made a move to take off his own cloak, but I nodded. 

"I am." At my answer, he smiled again, moving his arm farther around my waist as he stepped up to the railing. 

"Do you want Lothiriel to grow up here?"

"You mean in Mirkwood?" I turned to look at him.

"Yes. Here where you must obey one who has tortured you so."

"Thranduil will not bother us." I turned away to look out into the forest. "We are safe here..."

"But do you want to stay here?" I didn't want to answer Haldir's question. The world frightened me and Mirkwood was one place that I knew. I wanted Mirkwood to be the best place for us, even if it wasn't. "I know you do not have much need of me now...and I'm going to return to Lorien where I belong." He was looking at me, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. "I want you to return with me, Aylariel. You and the baby."

"But what...what is there in Lorien that I don't have here?" I stepped away from the railing and Haldir's embrace as I gave a light laugh. 

"You cannot be in doubt about my feelings for you, Aylariel." He spoke so earnestly and sincerely...but it was terrifying to hear. 

"But what if I'm in doubt about mine," I spoke barely above a whisper. 

"Love is not something that comes over you one day and just happens to stay..." I brought my eyes to him as he stepped towards me. "It's a choice who we love. And I choose to love you, Aylariel." He was now just in front of me and he moved his hands to my waist as he leaned his forehead against mine. "Could you choose to love me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quel amrun: Good morning  
> Quel undome: Good evening


	15. Tenna' ento lye omenta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries* This is the last chapter! BUT there will be an 'afterward' which actually has some pretty unexpected and awesome stuff in it. I'm excited to write that. Thank you guys for waiting so patiently for this chapter, by the way. I will try to get the 'afterward' out much faster.  
> So, news on the new story. I have a preview chapter written, so I'm gonna be posting that soon and I need you guys to give me feedback on it. If you like the idea, then I'll get that story going probably starting next week. If you'd like anything changed, have any ideas for the story-line (PLEASE), or want yourself written into the story...just make sure you comment on that once it goes up. And it should be up in the next two days.  
> Thanks! Love you all sooo much <3

And here it was. The moment of truth. If I said yes now, I was tying myself to him forever. Could I do that? Could I really do that? I exhaled slowly as I closed my eyes. I expected to have to think for a few minutes, but it only took a moment for me to know what I wanted to do. After everything, the choice suddenly seemed so simple. "I choose to love you, Haldir."

 

It was the first time that I had woken up in someone's arms. I had spent countless nights in the king's chambers, but every morning I had found myself alone. This morning, in the Eastern corner of Mirwood, I awoke in the arms of someone I loved, and who I knew loved me. And I had never felt so happy. I settled back into my sleeping position, my head resting on Haldir's chest, and listened to his steady breathing. Now, at last, I was ready to talk about the future.

 

I had just finished breakfast and was getting my hair done by one of my handmaidens, when there was a commotion beneath us, then sounds of running feet coming up the stairs. For all the noise, only one face appeared through my door and it was the most welcome one. "Tegalad!" I nearly flew across the room and into his open arms. 

"My lady, long has it been since I have seen your face." He was beaming, but not nearly as much as I was.

"But why are you here? Who has sent for you?" 

"I'm afraid I'm guilty of that." Haldir appeared at the door and his presence instantly made me blush. It was foolish, I knew it was, but the events of the night before were still fresh in my mind. Haldir was smiling proudly, awaiting my response. 

"Thank you," I said softly, stepping away from Tegalad just long enough to kiss Haldir's cheek. "Tell me, how are you?" My attention was turned back to my attendant.

"I am well, but how are you? I heard about what happened..." 

"Oh, did you?" I gave a light laugh. Had the news of my children really traveled as far as Lorien?

"We mourned with you in Lothlorien, my lady."

"You did?" After that, it seemed like the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. I had laid on my bed for so many days after the death of my son, and not one song of mourning was sung for him, but hundreds of miles away in Lorien...they had mourned. How could I then decide to stay in a place where my children were valued below a king's pride? We had to go to Lorien. "How soon are we leaving?" I asked, turning back to my lover in the doorway. 

"We will leave tonight, if it pleases you."

"I will do whatever you wish." And I would. For the rest of my life I would.

 

As we loaded our things onto our horses, there were no feelings of regret. I knew that when I rode out of those large gates, it would be for the last time. I would never return to the Woodland Realm. Tauriel came to help me pack and I saw her forcing herself to keep a smile on her face, though she could not for long. "Oh,  _mellonamin_ , you should not mourn so!" I knelt by her side and wrapped my arms around her neck. "I will be happy in Lorien."

"But I will not be happy in your absence." Tauriel placed her hands on mine and I saw her eyes begin to fill with tears. 

"You have a good life here in Mirkwood, Tauriel." I laid my head on her shoulder as my voice became softer. "You are the captain of the king's own guard...and you have Legolas here."

"Legolas cannot replace you, Aylariel. And...Legolas is the king's son. He can never be more than a friend to me." Tears were now freely running down her cheeks and she hastily brushed them away. I rarely saw Tauriel cry and her display of emotion saddened me. 

"I'm sorry I must go away," I whispered.

"But you must." Tauriel now forced a smile onto her face as she turned to look at me. "Your daughter is much better off among people who can love her for who she is, and you belong with Haldir. We are forced to part ways, Aylariel...for everyone's sake." She took both my hands in hers as she spoke. She was so good and I knew I would miss her most of all. I leaned over and pressed my lips against her forehead, then we wrapped our arms around each other in a tight embrace. " _Amin mela lle, Aylariel_."

" _Amin mela lle, Tauriel._ "

 

Then we were saying our last goodbyes and climbing onto our horses. Tegalad would take his customary place at my side, and Haldir rode on my other. Just behind us, a maiden rode with Lothiriel, and behind them rode two other attendants and a few warriors. Our journey would be a long one, but I was excited to reach Lothlorien. Legolas came to bid us farewell, though I knew he was mostly there for Haldir. " _Namaarie, Haldir. Quel marth._ "

" _Diola lle, Legolas. Tenna' ento lye omenta._ "

" _Tenna' san._ " And he gave a slight bow. Haldir smiled as he extended his arm towards the young prince. Legolas then turned to me and also bid me farewell. 

" _Namaarie, Legolas_." I did not expect to see him again until we met in the West. Not him or his father. At the thought of Thranduil, my eyes drifted towards the palace and throne room. I would never see him again on this earth. As we rode towards the gate, that thought settled over me. I almost wished that just once more, I could see the king, standing there regally with his stone-cold face, his blue eyes looking out across the forest, but he was not there. He never appeared. Once at the gate, Legolas and Tauriel slipped out before us with a group of elven warriors. There had been news that a party of dwarves were wandering around the forest and they were sent to bring them in. I wished to know the end of that story, but that was not part of my fate. I looked over at the handsome elf riding beside me, and he gave me a reassuring smile. In a few days, we would be at Lorien and there we would start our new life together.

 

"You'll have to make me a new garden." We were sitting on a platform in a tree and my back was against Haldir's chest as our fingers intertwined.

"If you wish."

"Will we just live in your house?"

"I hope Lady Galadriel will allow us to move into a larger one."

"Who does Tegalad usually serve?" A million questions were crowding into my head and I couldn't stop myself from asking them now that we were alone in the darkness of the forest. 

"He serves Lady Galadriel and Lord Celaborn."

"Directly?"

"Yes."

"Am I asking too many questions?" I suddenly got quieter.

"No," he laughed. "You may ask as many as you like."

"Will we marry as soon as we reach Lorien?"

"We will have the ceremony as soon as possible." The ceremony. Elvish marriage was composed of two parts - the ceremony and the consummation. So, according to elves, I was already half-married to Haldir. But, I had also been half-married to my king. The ceremony in Lorien would make me officially Haldir's wife. And I could not wait to be his wife.

 

As we neared Lorien, we got off our horses and walked some of the way. My arm was threaded through Haldir's and it felt so good to walk by the side of the great river, knowing we were almost there. I glanced back to see the maiden carrying my daughter and she gave me a smile and a nod. The trip had not been easy, but my flower had handled it well. We traveled on until we came to the place where the river split and there we were met by large boats shaped like swans. We climbed aboard, then were floated down the river and into the forest of Lorien. As soon as we entered, my ears were greeted with the sound of the elvish songs. They were joyous and as I turned to look at Haldir's face, I could see the joy reflected on it. This was the place he truly belonged and I was so honored to be by his side. 

 

The Lady of Light was as radiant as I remembered, every part of her shone as bright as the sun. She smiled when she saw me, then she spoke, her voice soft and sweet. "Aylariel, wife of Haldir, you are welcome here." And I knew I was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mellonamin: My friend  
> Amin mela lle, Aylariel: I love you, Aylariel  
> Amin mela lle, Tauriel: I love you, Tauriel  
> Namaarie, Haldir. Quel marth: Farewell, Haldir. Good luck.  
> Diola lle, Legolas. Tenna' ento lye omenta: Thank you, Legolas. Until next we meet.  
> Tenna' san: Until then  
> Namaarie, Legolas: Farewell, Legolas


	16. Afterward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is. It turned out exactly how I wanted it to, I even cried while writing it, so I hope you enjoy it as well. I cannot thank you enough for taking this journey with me and I hope you will all join me with my new story. The first/preview chapter is up, so make sure you comment on that. I love you all xoxo.  
> Sidenote: I'm sorry for posting the 15th chapter twice yesterday. I corrected everything so it's only up once now. I had to delete the few comments along with that chapter, but I did read and reply to them. I am so sorry if you didn't get to see those, make sure you comment on this one and I will definitely reply.

She was a flash of blond hair, blue eyes, and laughter. She was everything you could love and everything you desperately needed. She was everything you wanted to be and nothing you wanted to forget. She was my only child and was everything to me. She was like the wind, which only came out to dance in the sunshine before it was gone away again, only the sun never stopped shining for Lothiriel. She possessed so many of her father's traits. She was beauty. She was grace. And she was the brightest light in my life. I watched her dance with a group of her friends from the window of our home. She had recently turned a hundred and fifty, and I wished she would settle down and begin a family of her own, but she never had any desire for that life. She wanted to be free. All she spoke about was the golden shores to the West and how she could not wait to see them. She did not want to tie herself to this earth for all she wanted was to sail to the next. Behind me, my husband was packing some of his clothes into saddle bags. "And you will not be gone long?" I turned away from watching my daughter to see him buckling up the last of the bags.  
"I cannot tell, melamin." He turned towards me, sadness showing in his eyes. "We are called to Rohan and there we must go. We are to honor our allegiance with men."  
"But why must you be called upon? Why can the men not face their own fate?"  
"The forces of Saruman must be stopped. We will join the men of Rohan at Helm's Deep and there we will fight beside them."  
"But you will come home." My voice had suddenly changed to one full of fear and worry. Haldir crossed the room and placed his hands on my arms.   
"When we spoke before of war, you only spoke of the victory. Do not change your view now. We will have victory, a'maelamin."  
"Just come home." That's all I could ask. I wrapped my arms around my husband's neck and held onto him for as long as I could. It wasn't the first time Haldir had ridden to war, but it was the first time he had left me to ride against a full army. None of us knew how many of Saruman's orcs he would have to face, and the last time a member of my family had left to fight in a war, they had not returned. As Haldir pulled away from my embrace, he cupped his hands around my face and pressed his lips into mine. I tried not to cry, but I could not stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks as we walked down to the horses. Lothiriel waited there for us and Haldir let go of my hand so he could kiss her forehead gently. She flung her arms around him and held onto him for nearly as long as I had.   
"Farewell, Lothiriel. Take care of your mother."   
"Namaarie, astalder," She responded as her voice shook. He then climbed onto his horse and took the reigns in his hand. I was scared. War was not without its death toll, and I could not bear to lose him. I ran forward and slid my foot into his stirrup, then pulled myself up so I could kiss him one last time.   
"Amin mela lle, Aylariel."  
"Amin mela lle, Haldir." Then I was stepping back, holding tight onto my daughter as Haldir gave the order to ride forward. We watched as the large company of elves, led by my husband, rode out of Lorien, riding south into the land of Rohan.

Then came the news that he was dead. There had been discussion on who would inform me of his death, but the task was given to Tegalad. The moment he entered my rooms, I knew what had happened. The soldiers had returned the night before and I was awaiting Haldir's return, but knew he would report to Lady Galadriel first. But he never came back. Tegalad could not look at me and I sat there silently on the sofa before I asked, "Did he die honorably?"  
"Yes, my lady."  
"Did he die swiftly?"  
"Yes, my lady," was the reply again. "He died in the arms of Aragorn, son of Arathorn." I knew the name. "He was leading his warriors back to safety when he was struck down by an Uruk-hai's ax."  
"And...did we gain the victory?"  
"We did, my lady. We were aided by the riders of Rohan and the armies of Saruman were defeated."  
"It is well." I gave him a small smile. His eyes still could not rise to mine and he stood in silence by the door. "Please tell Lothiriel that I wish to see her," I asked gently. He gave me a low bow then left my apartments. The silence that ensued had never felt so loud. Everything was still, even my breathing. I knew then that I would not live long. No elf could survive three heart breaks.   
"Emel!" My daughter's voice greeted me as she ran into the room. "What is it?" She fell to her knees at my side and took both of my hands in hers. I looked down into her deep blue eyes that were full of curiosity.   
"Lothiriel," I brushed some of her messy, blond hair behind her ear. "Haldir is dead."  
"Oh, emel." Her face was suddenly full of shock. "Can it be true?" When I nodded, the tears were almost instant and she laid her head in my lap as her body began to shake with sobs. "I loved him, emel." I wrapped my arms around her and held her silently.   
"I loved him too, my child." I could not cry as she did, for all I felt was a silent stillness. He was gone. He was gone.

For many days, the elves of Lorien had sang their songs of mourning for the captain. He had been loved by so many. I grew weaker over the next few weeks. Lothiriel refused to leave my side at first, but after I had begged her to return to her normal activities, she finally consented. From my window, I could see her with her friends as they picked flowers from my garden. The garden that Haldir had made for me on our return to Lorien. I did not wish to leave her, but she would do just as well without me. She watched as I was slipping away and some nights she would beg me not to go, but I would just hold her close and tell her how much I loved her and that she would be alright. She had always been independent and now she could do as she wished.

I was surprised with a visit from Lady Galadriel one morning, as I rarely saw her. She came in alone, dressed in her dress of white lace that glittered as she did. "You do not look well, Aylariel. You have let your husband's death affect you too deeply."  
"My lady is very good to me in how she wishes for my good health." I smiled at her. "But my lady must know that I do not wish to live."  
"You have chosen to follow Haldir in death, then?"  
"I have. I cannot bear this life anymore, my lady. I have lost my husband and my son."  
"And what of your daughter?"  
"She will be well without me. Lothiriel can take care of herself."  
"And I would do everything I could to watch over your child, Aylariel, but another has given a different suggestion. I have brought you a visitor. Will you see him?"  
"If you recommend him."  
"He needs no recommendation." Galadriel stepped aside from the door and I turned to look at the figure that now filled it...and lost all ability to breathe. For there stood one I had not seen in over a hundred years.   
"Thranduil." I breathed his name out almost silently, but it still seemed to fill the room. I slowly rose to my feet and found myself alone, facing the father of my child, the king of the Woodland Realm. I gazed upon his face - so unchanged. He looked as if a day had not gone by from when I had stood before him.   
"It has been a long time, Aylariel." His voice was soft, but still it pierced into me and I felt every word.   
"I...I thought I would never see your face again."  
"I could not stay away when I heard of Haldir's death. I had to see you."  
"And how do you find me, my king?"  
"You are not well, Aylariel." At his words, I gave a light laugh.   
"And you look as well as ever."  
"I came to speak to you...about our daughter."  
"Lothiriel? What about her?"  
"Lothiriel..." He said the name softly, then he said it again. "I have searched the last century for that name and none knew of it. A day did not go by when I did not think of her...or you."  
"I never forgot you either, Thranduil...but I was happy here. I had a good life, though a century is too short of a time to spend with the one you love."  
"And he was good to you?"  
"He loved me...and I could never ask for more than that."  
"And our daughter, Lothiriel, how is she?"  
"She is well." The thought of her brought a smile to my face. "She has grown among elves who have loved her, though none as much as my husband and I." He gave a slight nod after I finished speaking, then he took another step into the room.  
"I am not returning to Mirkwood. I have decided to sail West and I came because I had to see you - and her - before I left. And because...I wish to take her with me."  
"You wish to sail with her?"  
"I do. I know she is young, but what is left on this earth for us?"  
"Nothing." A sigh escaped my mouth and I walked across the room to one of the windows where I looked out into the glistening forest of Lorien. "If she will go, you may take her." I looked over again towards my king, and he was watching me. After a moment of silence, he spoke.  
"Will you go?" It was a kind offer, but I gave him a small smile as I shook my head.  
"I am too weak to make it to the Grey Havens. I will die here and be reunited with my husband. Take her, for she will go."  
"Then I will see you in the next life." He stepped towards me before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my forehead, then turned to go, but stopped a moment. He then turned before speaking words I never thought I would hear. "I loved you, Aylariel. I want you to know that." Only then did tears come to my eyes, and even I did not know why. "You once asked me for an apology and I refused to give it...but I give it now. I was wrong and I'm sorry." Then he turned and left me alone again in my chambers. Every emotion was crowding into my head at once, but above it all, I felt a calmness, different from the silence after Haldir's death. I now felt content and almost happy. My daughter would be reunited with her father and sail to the West and I knew nothing could make her happier. 

"I do not wish to leave you, emel." Lothiriel clung to me, though she was dressed in her green cloak and gloves and the company was ready to depart.   
"You must, melamin." I smiled as I brushed her tears from her cheeks. "You have always wished for this day and you must go."  
"But what about you?"  
"I will see you again, my daughter, in the life after this one." I pressed my lips to her forehead, then gave her a last embrace before letting her attendant help her onto her horse, right beside Thranduil's.   
"I will miss you." I could see her trying to be brave and it made me proud.  
"It will not be long before we are reunited, melamin. Remember that I love you and I will always love you."  
"I love you too, emel."   
"Come, Lothiriel, we must go." Thranduil spoke gently and my daughter nodded in response.   
"Namaarie, emel."  
"Namaarie, Lothiriel." I raised my hand and waved as they rode into the forest, heading West. They had a long journey ahead of them, but it would be their final journey. I turned and let Tegalad take my arm to help me back to my home. My life was almost finished, then I would see my husband again. My life on earth had been short, but I could not ask for a better one. I had loved deeply twice, and, in the end, had found the greatest love in my Haldir. I had made mistakes, but I had been blessed beyond measure with my daughter. There was nothing left on this earth for me, so I would slip into the next. And, for the first time, I was not afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> melamin: My love  
> a'maelamin: My beloved  
> Namaarie, astalder: Farewell, valiant one  
> Amin mela lle, Aylariel: I love you, Aylariel  
> Amin mela lle, Haldir: I love you, Haldir  
> Emel!: Mother!

**Author's Note:**

> Vanimle sila tiri: Your beauty shines bright.  
> Tula sinome! Tula sinome, khila amin! Asca! Asca!: Come here! Come here, follow me! Hurry! Hurry!  
> Mellonamin: My friend.  
> Lle naa vanima, Arwenamin. Lle naa vanima: You are beautiful, my lady. You are beautiful.  
> Kwentra heru en amin, ro wethrine amin. Nadorhuan. Quel kaima, utinu en lokirim!: Tell my lord, he deceived me. Cowardly dog. Sleep well, son of snakes!


End file.
